Reconstruction
by dooski
Summary: Renfro died to save Max. But what if it didn’t all stop there? Logan and Lydecker disappeared together following the raid of Manticore. AU, MA. warning this is a Ben fic
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Gazing through the glass now, it all seemed too easy, really. How simple it all had come to her. Certainly, there was plenty of work behind this, but really, had she exhausted all their resources? Had she resorted to their most extreme measures? It had happened far sooner than she'd ever expected. It was a raging success.

She looked into the incubator, staring at her experiment, stroking the glass gently with her delicate yet firm hands. The same hands that had at one time pushed the X5 out of the way. The same hands that she had used along with her feet to jump in front of her, and save her, allowing- more than that, welcoming a bullet to come crashing into her body.

She wouldn't have made the decision if she had any other options. The X5 had left her with no other choice. Renfro did not appreciate having her options taken away from her. She bitterly thought of how she had sacrificed herself to save the X5. Perhaps the rouge soldier mistook the decision for compassion, or a moment of insanity.

Only Renfro knew why she'd done it. She smiled, realizing the beauty of her plan. Her team had worked just as designed. They effectively went into action immediately, just as she had instructed them.

Renfro looked down at her own scars, again made of her own choice. She stared darkly at the tiny puncturing wounds on her arms. Her battle against her own mind was something that she had never expected. Renfro wasn't one to be taken by surprise. She carefully planned everything, and losing her mind of what happened while she was dead was not something she anticipated.

She wanted the time back. She wanted more than anything to know what happened to her during those weeks. She had to study herself thanks to the X5 and her own decision. She didn't know the extent of the changes it had caused.

Renfro wasn't an Xseries. Yet she had to use them, she had to infect her own DNA to come back. Renfro held a slight disgust in herself. She had wanted _her_ DNA, the X5. But since she had to react quickly, she again had found her options limited.

She was forced to have defective DNA pumped through her body, affecting, _infecting_ her own. The doctors weren't aware. Renfro remembered her reaction when she'd found out that she had been revived with another X5's DNA.

She had, at the time, reacted out of anger. She recalled bitterly the one moment where she did not have control over her reactions.

"_What the hell do you mean you used blood from X5-656?" Renfro yelled angrily upon hearing the news._

"_Ma'am.." the nervous doctor stammered, "She was the only one prepped for it. She was the only one ready."_

Renfro ignored her painful memories, and stared again at the glass, stroking it once more. "Oh, there, there," she spoke softly, maternally. "You are going to be so much better when we recreate you!"

_This one they called Brin_, she thought, laughing at their sentiments. They actually considered themselves a family. Renfro wondered how the X5 would take it if she witnessed this. Renfro thought, disgusted, it would probably be enough for her to turn herself in. _How pathetic_.

Renfro loved being in charge, the power and feeling it brought. She was the giver of life. She held the power over creation- how amazing that was! She could build them, she could destroy them. She could change them.

She could resurrect them. Reconstruction was the term they used, not that it mattered. She didn't have to answer to anyone. She was the boss of it all, and she loved it.

Her eyes circled the room, admiring her work.

Her gaze stopped as her eyes focused on one particular incubator. This one she approached as though it were another person. This was truly the fruit of their labor. This one was the special one.

Renfro's proud, beaming smile changed as her lips began to curl sharply downward, into a firm frown. This all wouldn't be necessary if her operative had just done his job.

She hated him. He was such a waste. How he'd escaped death, she didn't know. He was somehow able to dodge Manticore-sent attempts to kill him, twice now, while he had allowed a bunch of children to escape his facilities in his past. She didn't have to wait much longer. If the experiment worked this time, as it certainly appeared so, they wouldn't need the X5 anymore. The rogue soldier surely thought she was immune by now, thought that they needed her.

452 knew that she had special DNA. Her careless actions as of late proved she was not concerned with her safety. It was true that until the experiment was completed, her well-being was necessary.

If it worked, she could finally be taken care of. She could be terminated. There would be no need to keep her alive. As long as her body was still in tact, they would only need the vitals. They could rebuild her, make her more perfect.

Renfro stared at Brin, watching the pumps suck the fluids out of her, smiling again at the affectionate name that her creations had given this vegetable. _Should I give this one life, _Renfro considered. Brin had her flaws. She was not one of Renfro's prized ones. She had a certain jealousy of 452 especially. It had always been evident in training and during missions.

Renfro scowled at the thought of Brin's interrogation. Renfro was almost embarrassed at Brin's lacking self-control. Brin was too self-absorbed. When the question had been asked of her, if 452 had released her of free will, or if Brin had overpowered her, the soldier lied.

Renfro hated being lied to by her soldiers, her creations. Their attempts to undermine her ability to detect their insincerity was unnerving.

That was when Renfro had made up her mind. Any female X5 would do, she needed the female DNA. Why not Brin? Brin's failed DNA would not be passed on, only the female chromosome. Renfro already had another X5 far better than Brin to create what it was that she required.

The experiment would kill her. Renfro had known before she'd decided to go ahead. Brin's life was something that Renfro valued no more than that of her foolish operative.

Renfro wondered, momentarily, if he knew what she was doing. His reaction, perhaps, would be worse than 452's. 452 would probably have more self-control. In a way, Renfro hoped he was close enough to see what was going on. She loved the thought of pissing him off, leading him to make an irrational decision, finally make a mistake that would cost him his life.

Renfro was interrupted by one of her underlings, her head physician on staff. "Ma'am. The prep is over. Are you sure you want to do this again?"

Renfro allowed her icy dark eyes to stare coldly into his. Why was he questioning her? "Of course." She answered flatly.

"Madame, all of my tests indicate there is no guarantee that this will work-" he began to protest.

"I _want _those weeks back," She interrupted forcefully, dismissing his attempts to change her mind. "Meanwhile, continue to probe 734."

"Renfro," the doctor addressed her impersonally with a look of shock, "Without time to rest, she may die. The alterations made to her body and mind could prevent any type of reconstruction."

"I'm aware of that, doctor," Renfro answered, annoyed. "Do I need to repeat my orders?"

"No, Ma'am."

"Good." She paused, "The prep is over? In that case, let's go." She walked confidently toward the room, swallowing her doubts, her human flaws, that were begging her to turn around. She dismissed the fearful human thoughts within her wanting her to take his advice, to not do this. She ignored the pain she was already feeling in her fresh wounds, warning her to take some time to heal before doing this again.

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a/n: thanks for reading, what do you think?... next chapter shows Max's current situation 


	2. Chapter 2

**a/n**: This chapter has a memory that is not completely necessary and maybe Tplus? I don't know, I'm bad with ratings, its really not that bad, but you can skip it if that type of thing bothers you

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**Chapter 2**

Max Guevarra stood still for a moment, shocked at the news. Her full lips parted as she took it in. Her large chocolate eyes were wide with surprise at hearing what had happened.

Alec repeated the information, hoping for a more vocal reaction this time. "Max," he spoke softly, "I'm telling you, Logan contacted me."

Max stared into his hazel eyes. They were serious. His usual mischievous glow was missing, and his lips held together gently in a thin line, missing the usual curving at the corners of his signature smirk. He held the firm appearance of a true Manticore soldier. If what he said was true, her hopes had finally been realized. He wasn't dead.

"Alec," she began, not sure what to say.

Alec stared into her eyes. They were begging for reassurance. The last thing he wanted to do was give her false hope. He had lied into those eyes in the past. After spending so much time with Max, he found that lying into those eyes was something he was no longer capable of.

"Max," he explained at her silence, "I don't know how he did it, but he did. There was a weak signal coming through with Morse code. Every other word was _my_ bar-code, Max."

"Well, what was the message?" Max asked slightly frantic. If Logan was truly alive, why hadn't he contacted her?

"Keep her safe from the twin," Alec reported.

Max listened to his words, confused. She stared at the computer screen, not blinking. Where was _her_ message? If he knew how to contact Alec, he knew how to contact her.

"Why would Sam be a threat?" Max asked him, confused.

Alec's heart ached as he gazed into her worried eyes. He wished he had answers for her. He would have put off telling her to if only to save her from hurting had he not known better. Max was not one to be left in the dark. Besides that, he felt he needed her help. They ought to work together to find Logan Cale.

"I don't know," Alec answered honestly. "I think I should spy on Sam, though, contact her or something."

Max refused immediately, "No way!" She didn't want him to leave her. "What if it's a trap? Besides that, I have no idea where she is now."

"Well where was she last?" Alec asked.

"Canada," Max answered, "Or at least, on her way."

"Maybe the answer is in here," Alec suggested, pointing to the computer in front of her.

They were standing in Logan's penthouse. His disappearance was very unsettling. If it had been truly planned, his files surely would have been missing. If it had been a kidnapping, or a murder, surely they would have destroyed his computer or stolen it. If it was petty theft, his valuables would be gone.

The apartment was untouched, exactly the same. The only thing missing was Logan.

They had been attempting to hack into his computer for weeks now. Max had cursed at herself countless times for not thinking to ask Logan about his passwords before he'd disappeared.

Alec had been fairly successful in accessing his files, but many still remained protected. Logan had an immeasurable amount of top secret information, ranging from government cover-ups and conspiracies to mob activities around Seattle and also on a global scale.

Max at first was surprised to see the amount of Manticore files Logan had at his disposal that he'd never shared with her. She wanted to see those more than any other, but they were the most protected files.

Alec had been working almost nonstop at uncovering whatever Logan had in his computer. He hated the task. It wasn't a good use of his skills. Although he was far more talented than most people in accessing the protected files, it wasn't what he was designed for.

"If only we knew what was in there," Max commented, wondering if they'd ever be able to discover the extent to what Logan knew.

"I wonder if it has something to do with Eclipsa," Alec thought out loud, referring to the file that had the most protection. Alec was nowhere near finding the codes to opening it.

"I don't think that's Manticore," Max dismissed the idea. She and Alec were both products of the place, and they'd never heard of anything close to that name. Max reckoned it was some other government project possibly.

"Max, this is what we've been waiting for," Alec tried to convince her. It was true, they'd been searching desperately for leads.

"So Logan tells you to protect me from Sam, and what do you do? Go running right to her? I don't really think that's what Logan wanted." Max argued.

Alec wanted to calm her. She consumed his wants lately, his desires all led straight to Max. He wasn't quite sure at what point in time Max's happiness had come to mean more to him than his own or anything else in his life. With Logan gone, Alec had been forced to step up. Max needed someone she could rely on, someone to depend on.

Alec remembered how vulnerable she looked when she had come to him that day. He thought they'd broken up, something he secretly wished for and yet something he didn't want to see happening, knowing it would hurt her. He was at first angry, he wanted to hurt the bastard for screwing up again and hurting Max.

He figured Logan had done something stupid, pushed Max away for the last time. Maybe he'd dumped her. Alec should have known that wasn't the case, Logan was too selfish with Max to completely give her up.

But Alec had been thrown at the real reason for Max's distress that night. He rarely saw her so vulnerable, and once he found out why, he knew he had to do something. If Logan had disappeared, Alec assumed what he knew she was too afraid to think- he was dead.

Max loved Logan, Alec knew this. He immediately put aside his usual sarcastic nature. Max couldn't afford for Alec to be short and distant with her, she needed him.

Alec wanted to calm her. He wanted more than that, he wanted to protect her, wanted to make her happy- he wanted to love her.

Alec didn't want to admit to Max that when he first discovered Logan's message he had wanted to keep it hidden. He found himself jealous, a feeling he wasn't used to.

That was when Alec knew he had to find Logan for Max. Alec wasn't good enough for her. The closer he became with Max, the more selfish he found he was, wanting Max not only to confide in him, but to be with him. He didn't want to have just a little of Max, he wanted all of her. Alec didn't know if Logan was better, but he knew that was the choice Max had made. She wanted Logan, she loved the man.

Alec remembered the one moment he'd shared with Max.

"_Maxie! To what do I owe the pleasure? Let me guess… there's a toilet that you need me to unclog!" Alec was speaking both sarcastically and truthfully. Lately it seemed he was her errand boy._

_Max didn't reply with her usual fire. That was when he noticed, her deep brown eyes. They were full of fear._

"_Max, what's wrong?" His voice changed suddenly, he was softer, comforting._

_She allowed herself to cry in front of him. "Logan is gone, Alec."_

_He had taken her delicate face into his hands, wiped her tears. Her face was so empty, her eyes had lost their shine._

_He wasn't sure why he did it. Even though she was pleading with her eyes, he knew it was wrong. He felt like he was taking advantage of her. But it was her eyes- they were begging him._

_He pressed his lips against hers, and immediately found them open, welcoming him to comfort her, to be with her._

_He pulled away for a moment, was he really going to do this? Was this really what she wanted. Her body leaned toward him, not wanting him to back away._

"_Max," he breathed, asking if it was what she wanted._

_He found that simple taste of Max was enough to ignite his desires for her. He had always noticed how beautiful she was, being genetically enhanced. But he never imagined how it would feel to taste Max, to be with her. He found he could no longer respond to what she wanted without confusing it with what he wanted._

_She gently lifted his shirt slowly, showing him her answer._

_His own hands gently held her arms, following them to her hands, asking her to look at him._

_She finally did meet his gaze, her hands still pressed against his naked abdomen, lining his strong muscles._

"_Alec," she answered, before kissing him again, asking him to take her, to be with her._

_Alec stopped responding to Max as his hunger overtook him. He wasn't reacting for her, he was reacting for himself._

_She didn't open her lips this time, but held them against his, until the kiss was interrupted by removing his shirt._

_She paused, questioning herself it seemed, staring at Alec in a way she hadn't before, taking in just how beautifully Manticore had designed him to be._

"_Max," he breathed again, this time not with question, but with desire. He placed quick, soft kisses along her neck, following them to her mouth, teasing her, taunting her._

_Max let her head lean back, while her body leaned into him, wanting more. As he breathed her name again before pressing his lips against her forcefully, she could feel his breath, and she gasped with desire she didn't realize she had._

_He took the moment to take her, as he kissed her deeply and passionately._

Alec was glad the moment hadn't gone further. He remembered the interruption. Though at the time, it had been unwelcome, Alec was relieved it had stopped whatever he didn't want to imagine would have happened.

Asha had come unexpectedly, wondering where Logan was.

_As both transgenics heard the knocking, they seemed aware of their situation, of their responsibilities. They couldn't do this. People needed them at the moment._

_Alec stared at Max hesitantly, not wanting to answer the door and go back to reality unless she was willing.. She stood still, calm, staring back with sadness. He then realized, reality had already found her again. She was aware it seemed, that Logan was gone without a trace, and that she was standing in front of the one person who might be able to help her find him. Alec realized that although her body was still warm with her desire, she wasn't going to let anything happen. He released her, and pulled his shirt back on once he realized the moment was gone._

_Alec opened the door, surprised at the sight of who it was. "What is it?" he asked, trying to hide his annoyance._

_Her blue eyes stared at both of them, eyeing the situation. Although human, she was fairly perceptive, and seemed to understand that she'd just interrupted something intense. "Um," she began, pausing to gather her thoughts again as to why she'd come._

"_Come in," Alec offered, finally finding his manners._

_She stepped in quietly. "Hey, Max," she greeted kindly with a smile on her face, though looking distraught otherwise._

_Max nodded warmly in return, but said nothing._

_Asha again looked to Alec, "So, I don't know if you've heard.." She then looked to Max, "Logan is gone," she blurted._

_Max nodded again, showing her sadness, though she held herself together far better than she had in front of just Alec only moments before. "I know. Do you have any idea where he is?" Max eyed the girl, realizing that Asha, too, had come to Alec before anyone else at realizing Logan's disappearance._

_Asha shook her head, before she became the second person that night to fight back tears at the situation. "I mean, what if he is hurt? What if he's…"_

The rest of the night had been just talk. They realized that no one knew where Logan was or why he'd disappeared. Unfortunately, they still didn't know.

Alec hadn't tasted Max since that night. He tried not to think about it, for fear the aching for Max would overtake his senses. He wasn't sure what he would do if he was able to taste a little of Max but not all of her. He felt he would take her, again, feeling he wasn't good enough for her. She deserved someone who could love her for all that she was, not for the desire of their own selfish thoughts.

"We'll never know what Logan wanted," Alec answered, forcing himself to focus on thoughts other than Max.

"So you're telling me you're going to leave, on your own?" Max asked.

"Max, if we don't hear anything else from Logan within a week, I am going to head to Canada and find Sam," Alec decided, slightly compromising.

Max nodded, clearly upset. "Are you coming into work tomorrow?" She asked, changing the subject.

"Yea, I guess I may as well. I don't think I can crack this code any more than I already have," Alec answered, grateful that she wasn't fighting him on this.

Max cocked her head slightly, "And how are you gonna convince Normal that you still deserve your job?"

"I have my ways," Alec insisted before adding, "Besides, who could say no to this face!" He flashed her a cheesy smile.

Max rolled her eyes, "Okay, Pretty Boy. But don't ask me to cover for you!"

She didn't want him to go, but she was grateful to have a week hiatus, so to speak, on everything that was going on.

She was smiling, but inside she was worried, this time not for Logan, but for Alec. She didn't feel right about him leaving. Even though she wanted a normal week, another part of her hoped that Logan would somehow reach them again so that Alec wouldn't have to leave.

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a/n: thanks again for reading and for the feedback. hows this one unfolding so far? not sure at the moment what the next ch will be about, but i'll post when its ready 


	3. Chapter 3

**a/n: **I realized that I didn't put a disclaimer on this fic yet! Oops! Let's see... I'm not claiming to own Dark Angel because I don't. And I probably won't post this again, so consider this an all-fic long disclaimer to the ownership

Okay, so thanks much for the feedback from the last chapter, and of course for reading. Here's the latest:

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**Chapter 3**

"Just look at Golden Boy!" OC commented to Max, staring at the crowd gathered around Alec. "This place has been missin' that boy." She gave Max a defeated look, "What can I say, even I have missed havin' his smart-ass around."

Max took a moment to listen in to what was going on.

"And then of course I had no choice. I mean, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do," Alec told. He was clearly telling some elaborated and fake story about what he'd been up to the past week that he had missed work straight.

"Boy really knows how to hold attention!" OC again commented.

Max rolled her eyes, but couldn't help but look on affectionately. This was how the place acted after 2 weeks of his absence. What would she do when he left for who knew how long on this wild goose chase, in her mind, that was somehow supposed to protect her.

"Dude. You are lucky to be alive!" Sketchy commented to Alec with admiration.

Alec nodded, "I certainly am. If I'd been just one inch off, I wouldn't be standing here today, gentlemen!"

Normal interrupted the conversation with a tap on Alec's shoulder. "Alright, mister. I hear you were taken in by the FBI for investigation?"

Alec shook his head, "Sort of, I was called in for questioning as a witness to a high profile crime and placed in very temporary witness protection program until the man was killed unexpectedly in-"

Normal shook his head, "Woah, Woah! Stop! I don't care. Just…get this package to 2nd street, and don't skip ever again! I really shouldn't even allow you to come back to work without a written excuse."

Alec patted Normal on the back, "It's cool, Normal." He nudged Normal slightly, nodding toward him as he spoke quieter, "I've also been training for a little match on the side. Gotta keep in shape for the next big match!" He grabbed the package as he finished his sentence.

Normal couldn't help but beam at his Golden Boy. "Well…if it's for a big match…"

Max felt slightly guilty looking at Alec. He had really been enjoying life without her problems crashing into his otherwise carefree life. She turned to her friend, confiding in her. She spoke quietly so not to be overheard, "Logan contacted Alec the other night."

Cindy looked at her friend with eyes full of surprise and relief. "Well, girl, spill! What did the man say? When is he comin' back?"

Max looked sad, "I really don't know. But I have an idea of how to find out."

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Alec touched his fist with Sketchy's to return the usual gesture as their game came to a close. As usual, Alec had taken the opportunity to kick Sketchy's butt in pool. Alec no longer really cared about getting money from the poor kid. This was just how they had fun while hanging out at Crash. Who was Alec to deny their ritual, even if it always ended with Sketchy being the one to buy the next round?

Sketchy returned with another pitcher still smiling, even though he'd just been annihilated in front of the whole room for his gaming skills, or lackthereof. "Man," he said as he pounded the container on the table, "I don't even mind fronting the beer tonight! I haven't gotten whooped by you in a while, I forgot what it felt like. Thanks for the reminder!"

Alec laughed with his friend, "Anytime, Sketch!" He took a swig of his now refilled drink before commenting further. "You, know, Sketchy, I was only gone for a couple weeks," he reminded his co-worker, taking the moment to be serious.

Sketchy nodded, "Yea, man, but you know how that place is. One day feels like a week. By that estimate, you were gone for…" he trailed off as his math skills failed him.

"Enough time to not want to kick ya butt at the sight of you!" OC replied as affectionately as she could, introducing herself to their night out.

"Cindy!" Alec greeted warmly, but with as much sarcasm as ever, "Now that sounds like something Maxie would say." He immediately regretted the comment. Even when she wasn't around, it was like he couldn't escape the thought of her.

"Max has been missing you at work like crazy!" Sketchy commented, beginning to show the amount of alcohol he was consuming.

OC eyed the skater boy, wondering where he'd come up with that one.

Alec smiled, interested, "Really? What, she didn't know who's ass to blame for everything that went wrong!" He also wondered how she could possibly miss him, when she was the one keeping him away. They had seen each other every day almost nonstop ever since Logan's disappearance.

"She didn't say anything," Sketchy admitted, "But every time one of us asked about you, she just had this sadness in her eyes."

OC rolled her eyes. Sketchy was far more perceptive than anyone would ever guess or give him credit for, even when he was a bit intoxicated. "And you got a haze comin' over your eyes. Did you take any special medication today?" she asked, not wanting to read too much into his comment.

Before Sketchy could answer, all of their attention was diverted to the television at the corner of the bar, as the program switched without anyone changing the channel.

A pair of all too familiar icy eyes came onto the screen.

"_This is a Streaming Freedom Video bulletin. The cable hack will last exactly 60 seconds. It cannot be traced, it cannot be stopped and it is the only free voice left in the city."_

"Yea! It's Eyes Only, guys!" Sketchy cheered in his happy drunkenness, "I love that guy!"

"Shut it," OC demanded, listening closely to the broadcast.

"_While the mayor still holds his corrupt connection with the leading crime boss of the city, he still manages to keep a straight face while at a nice photo-op with children at a local school,"_

Pictures accompanied the broadcast of the mayor looking very friendly and kind with school children.

"_the same children whose parents' deaths came at the order of our city's dearly beloved leader."_

The pictures of the mayor went away, and quickly in its place were pictures of faces of apparent victims, parents of the children, more than likely.

"_As you may know, one of the dead parents left behind a set of twins, thanks to our mayor."_

There was a slight pause. Sketchy and OC didn't notice, but Alec did. The pause seemed purposeful, like the broadcast was a message.

"_Where are these twins now? Should we work to ensure their safety?"_

The question, Alec concluded, was meant for someone specific, and the broadcast was merely a means of spreading it.

"_Or should we sit idly behind, watching the mayor as he creates more of these broken families everyday? Who's life is the mayor going to ruin next? Already we have one twin asking alone in the night of his parents, Where are You."_

This provided the greatest pause.

"_The mayor knows the answer, and now, so do you."_

The broadcast finished, on the surface about the mayor, but Alec knew better. For the past 2 weeks, Max and Alec had together discussed doing a broadcast, just to keep the enemies of Eyes Only as well as the city of Seattle under the impression that he was still alive. If anyone had been holding Logan with thoughts that he was Eyes Only, a broadcast might serve to fool his possible captors into thinking he knew nothing and releasing him. Max had mentioned how she'd done so once before, and it worked to help keep his identity safe.

But they had never decided if that was something they wanted to do right then. Alec knew the reason, though. It was clear from the message. Max was hoping to contact Logan through his own Eyes Only broadcast.

Alec wondered if it would work. Was Logan even in a position to see it? Alec realized that Logan's message had left no trace of where he was. It seemed that the only clear thing was that Logan wasn't ready to be found, and had probably risked his own safety to warn Alec about Max's.

"Yea, Eyes!" Sketchy said, lifting his glass that he apparently didn't realize was empty into the air in celebration of the man. He looked at the glass sadly as he raised it to his lips only to find nothing was coming out. He turned to Alec, "Who's turn is it?"

Alec smiled, but shook his head, "Sorry, Sketch. I think I'm gonna head home." The concern for Max had already slipped its way into his thoughts, and he knew it wouldn't go away until he saw her for himself. She was clearly troubled tonight, and he found himself feeling guilty just having a good time while she was too busy to come out and have some fun as well.

OC eyed him knowingly. She knew he was headed to Max. "Tell my girl she needs to come out tomorrow night. I haven't seen her relax in a long time now."

Alec shrugged, and then added with a smile, "I'll see what I can do."

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**a/n**: Thanks for reading, and for feedback... next ch will show a bit more background, where exactly during Season 2 it is that Logan disappeared, and a lot of Max realizing how she considers Alec right now 


	4. Chapter 4

**author's note**: hey, thanks so much for reading, and for the feedback from especially the last chapter, since I know not too much happened in that one.

This chapter does not include much conversation. A lot of Max's thoughts. We already know how Alec feels to some extent, but where does she stand..

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**Chapter 4**

Max slipped off the headset and turned sadly to the phone, wishing she could escape her worries and her mood. She stared hard at the communication device, as if the harder she stared, the more likely it was to ring. _What, was I expecting as soon as the broadcast was done he would call?_, she thought, scolding herself for her hopeful wishes.

She finally gave up, outstretching her arms and considering just trying to sleep for the night. She realized, thinking of it, she couldn't recall the last time she'd slept.

Just as she was about to lay down with a pillow, there was a knock at the door. Her heart skipped a beat. Whoever it was, no doubt they had come because of her broadcast.

As she opened the door, the breath that she hadn't realized she'd been holding was released, along with her excitement. She stared into Asha's anxious blue eyes for a moment before holding open the door.

"Hey," she finally greeted, after Asha was already walking into the apartment.

Asha smiled, looking around, as if someone else was there. "Hey…," she returned distractedly, while still eyeballing the apartment. She was almost ignoring Max entirely, going off into her own search of the place.

"So, what's up?" Max asked, putting on a fake smile. She realized that she hadn't seen Asha in over 2 weeks now. The last time she'd seen the girl was the night of Logan's disappearance, at Alec's.

Thoughts of Alec flashed through Max's mind. Not just her typical thoughts, but what she'd been feeling that night. She had basically ignored the whole experience the following day. She told herself that she'd been reacting to an extreme situation. One man she cared deeply for, ripped from her life without a trace, had led her to be confused about the other man left standing still in it.

Apparently, Alec agreed with her assessment that their reactions were both due to the situation, and nothing more, since he hadn't bothered to bring it up since.

But thinking of where they had been coming from, Alec really hadn't been in the same position, she finally realized, thinking of how she'd gone to him immediately at the discovery.

There were two possible reasons for his actions that evening, in Max's mind.

One, he saw a chance to make out with someone, and seeing as his testosterone always seemed to be in overdrive, considering his multiple conquests, she wouldn't hold it against him if that was the reason. He was only reacting like any other guy would have given the same situation.

Two, he was reacting to comfort her and be as good a friend to her as he possibly could be. She knew that at the time, though she didn't want to admit it now, she had wanted his reaction, and he'd responded accordingly.

Max's breathing became just a bit heavier as a 3rd explanation popped into her racing mind. For some reason, this explanation came with a bit of fear, even for someone genetically enhanced.

_Three, _Max let herself finish the thought_, he wanted it himself._ Not because he wanted some random girl, but because he wanted Max

Her thoughts frightened her. She'd had men like her before, of course. Being genetically engineered to be more attractive than most females, she was used to dealing with the desires of men.

But something was different about Alec.

She thought of her actions from that night. For a moment, she hated Alec for being Alec. He was just as frightened as she was. Why else would he allow her, and himself, to run from it all?

_He knows me,_ Max realized swallowing hard with the admission Because he was just like her

_Does this mean I hate myself?_ she asked in her mind. The question only introduced another one_. Does that mean I hate Alec?_ She knew it wasn't true. Why else would she not want him to leave? She knew that she cared for him, more than she felt ready to admit even to herself.

They'd certainly grown closer in the recent weeks. They'd worked together before, but something was always holding them back. Max realized it was her. She'd always kept him from being close to her, rejecting any considerations toward him other than a cocky smart-ass. Something about the man having the face of one of her most painful moments seemed to chase away any real understanding of Alec as his own individual.

His face had haunted her for so long. The sight of a brother she killed, the responsibility and guilt for a decision no one should be forced to make, was right in front of her. She couldn't run from it.

Max had realized after he was arrested that this was a fault of hers. She didn't like to admit her flaws or mistakes. When she helped him escape from Ben's murders, she knew that she'd been running from the pain.

She wasn't ashamed. What else was she to do? It wasn't like Manticore trained them on how to deal with loss. It was viewed as a weakness to overcome, nothing more and nothing less.

And then there was Rachel. An instance where Alec showed a side of himself that she wasn't ready to accept. Even if it wasn't love that he felt, he thought it was, and so the pain had hit him like he'd lost the love of his life. It was difficult to see someone usually so in control and sarcastic become so real and empty over the loss of someone.

When she'd seen his pain, his heart's connection to the memory of a love that once was in Rachel, she couldn't help but allow her sight to match what her actions had been saying for a while now. She knew that ever since she'd seen a more private side to him, seeing his real pain in losing someone he really loved had at least served to put a pause on her usual thinking, that smart-Alec was all there was to him and all there ever would be.

And afterwards, he'd gone back to his typical smart-aleck remarks and attitude. _"I'm always all right!"_ She knew it was a lie. But she was running just like him. If he wanted to ignore his problems, she wouldn't object. Because it was easier for _her _to run as well that way. At least, that was how she looked at the situation now.

Comparing herself so closely to a person that had once upon a time disgusted her was hard to accept. But it was true. Something about losing Logan had changed Alec, she'd certainly taken notice. Well. maybe it wasn't that it changed him, but it seemed the catalyst to bring a certain side of Alec's to the surface.

And it had changed her as well. Not so much made her different, but forced her to accept her vulnerability and limitations.

She didn't want to run anymore. She knew she still wasn't ready to accept everything that she knew deep down was true. But at least she now was ready to consider it.

Max heard Asha rustling in another room, and her attention again was upon the last night she'd seen her. _At Alec's. _

Max hadn't really spoken with him much after finding out about Rachel, until that night. Max had told herself that it was because she didn't want to deal with him being a jerk, and besides, she could enjoy the peace and quiet in his absence.

But Max knew that she had been not wanting to face him for a different reason.

Looking at it now, she couldn't get over how similar they were.

Max liked to be in control of her relationships. _I do that thing where I push everyone away so no one gets hurt._ She knew now that this wasn't true, though. It was so _she_ wouldn't get hurt. Caring about someone had only brought her pain in the past. It was something she'd conditioned herself to avoid and run from.

And Alec was the same. He was used to being in control of every relationship he'd ever been in. They weren't even relationships to him, they were missions. It was his job. He was trained to manipulate, deceive, and take advantage of any attachment anyone found in him. And he'd done it well.

She finally watched the moment in her mind again, when she had first discovered Logan's disappearance and gone to Alec. She knew her actions weren't because of an extreme situation. They were because of a lack of all walls and barriers. Logan's disappearance was only the trigger. Having her world come crashing down with the absense of a man she supposedly loved took down whatever plans and control she had been holding firmly in place.

And it seemed that at her openness, Alec reacted just the same.

_But what does that mean?,_ Max questioned herself. She felt more confused than ever. Her heart was missing Logan, wasn't it? She'd cried at his departure, hadn't she?

_But I went to Alec,_ she admitted in her mind.

Before she could further consider what her feelings and conclusions meant, she was interrupted by Asha's voice. "Hey, sorry, Max. I wasn't paying attention," Asha admitted. Max realized that both of them had been lost in deep thoughts for a moment.

Max was glad Asha had brought her back to reality, to deal with the real situation at hand- Logan. Max wondered again why she was thinking of Alec so much when it was Logan who needed her at the moment. She hadn't found any peace of mind in all her contemplating, only more questions and doubts about where she stood with regard to the people in her life. "No, I was out there for a minute," Max admitted back. "I'm pretty tired. Kind of exhausting, all this wondering," she added after a pause.

Asha nodded with a gentle smile, "I know the feeling. Anyway, I only came by to pick up something I left here. When that broadcast came on- did you see it, Eyes Only?- Anyway, I realized that I'd left some of my own photos here for Logan to give to Eyes Only."

Max nodded with a weak smile. If this was the only response to the broadcast, she wished she hadn't made it at all.

"I guess they won't do me much good now," she commented, holding an envelope apparently with the pictures. "Unless, you know how to contact him…" she trailed off uncertainly.

Max was about to deny knowing anything about Eyes Only when she noticed what was at Asha's feet. A box that wasn't all the way shut, with clothes, and possibly other items, in it. She stared at them and looked back to Asha's face with her head cocked slightly. Though she didn't ask for any explanation, her body language was clearly showing that she was a bit taken aback by the personal items that Asha had left at Logan's.Max had never really considered just how close Asha was with the man. She knew they were friends, but it never occurred to her that Asha was this 'at-home' in Logan's apartment.

"I also remembered that I'd left some stuff here." She bit her lip. Max wasn't sure if it was out of guilt, or just hiding the pain she must have been in at the moment from the absence of someone she cared so much about. Neither had denied that Logan was gone, but Asha taking back her belongings…there really wasn't any escaping the truth with something like that thrust in your face. Logan was definitely gone.

"It's cool," Max said with a nod, not wanting to get into any more emotional thoughts or conversations for the evening. She found herself again just wanting to sleep.

Asha smiled, but her eyes didn't look happy. Even though she wasn't saying anything out loud, Max could tell she was thinking of Logan.

"Okay!" Asha interrupted the awkward silence. "Thanks, Max. Sorry for bothering you. I guess.. I didn't realize you were living here now. I guess… maybe I should give you this."

Max's eyes narrowed at the object in Asha's outstretched hand. It was a key.

"Why'd you knock?" Max asked bluntly, a little bothered that Logan had allowed Asha free access to his apartment whenever she wanted. That was a little more unnerving than seeing the girl's belongings had been just sitting around the place.

Asha shrugged, "Habit I guess. I always knock." She looked down, and spoke quieter, almost in a whisper, "And he always answers."

Max stared at her with pity, putting aside any ill feelings she normally associated with the girl. She waved her hands at her. "Keep it," she said, deciding it wasn't worth getting worked up over.

Asha looked up and her eyes held some hope. Max found herself pitying the blonde. It was like if she kept the key, it was somehow holding onto the hope that she was going to meet Logan again.

"Are you sure?" Asha asked.

"Yea," Max nodded, not wanting it to be a big deal, "Whatever." After another stretch of uncomfortable silence, she added, "He's coming back," offering some comfort with quiet conviction, willing herself to believe the words with her whole heart.

Asha nodded with a weak smile, realizing how obvious she must look at the moment. "Well, I better get going," she replied, clearly trying not to cry in front of Max, though it wouldn't be the first time. She had been crying hte last time Max had seen her.

"Later," Max said, as she watched Asha disappear, along with the box.

She let out a sigh as the door closed.

Max turned to the couch that had never looked so comfortable in her eyes until now. "Nothing is gonna interrupt my beauty sleep!" She decided, as she locked and bolted the door.

She let all her thoughts leave her as she collapsed onto the comfy make-shift bed, and fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

**a/n**: I hope that clears up a bit of where Max stands right now 


	5. Chapter 5

a/n: Thanks all for reading and for your comments/advice. I'm always open to hear what you think.

more of Alec and Max and... oh, yea! back to the plot...

* * *

**Chapter 5**

Alec was surprised at the sight. He was expecting to find Max working, typing away at the computer, or maybe not even there, but out trying to do something.

_But we're trapped in a corner_, he realized. And perhaps Logan was as well. Why else would the man contact Alec?

Logan's request had come to Alec as a surprise. It seemed the man, wherever he was, trusted Alec to take care of the woman he loved.

Alec smiled at the differences between himself and Logan. Taking care of Maxie meant something different to Alec than it did to Logan. Surely, Cale's idea meant protecting her by withholding information from her and making decisions without her knowledge or input. Why else would he have so many hidden and secret files?

Alec wanted to protect her just as much. But keeping things from Max was not something he wanted or worked to do. Alec's way of protecting Max meant helping her. She needed to find Logan because she loved him. So Alec would help.

He didn't like the idea of leaving Max, either, just as she seemed to feel about the plan. But he trusted her to take care of herself. His real reasons for not wanting to separate were selfish, really. He just didn't want her absence for a week.

_You're totally whipped_, he scolded himself. But he didn't feel like it. Max wasn't using him, after all. They were working together on this. He was free to walk away at any moment. It was just that he didn't want to leave her to deal with all of it on her own.

Alec couldn't help but grin at the sight of Max resting. He didn't often see her sleep. Well, maybe that was because she didn't sleep often.

He leaned over her, not really thinking about what he was doing. He was glad that she finally was getting some rest, and it made him want some as well. He crept beside her and laid down, preparing to sleep.

Max, in her sleepy state, welcomed his presence by molding her body perfectly into his arms.

Alec didn't take the time to wonder or pick apart her instinctive response. He only closed his eyes and fell asleep with a smile.

-----

"Alec?" Max asked softly as she woke up. _How long has he been here?_ She realized he'd been sleeping, too.

Alec instantly blinked awake. "Max," he answered in a deep but gentle voice.

His stare was unnerving. There was a look in his eyes that made her feel all too vulnerable.

"I know you," she heard him say in a deep and intense voice.

"What?" she asked, sending him a fearful look without thinking to hold it back.

"I said, I owe you," he repeated, giving her a questioning look. "Geez! You'd think your senses would be better after a good night's sleep!" he joked kindly with a smile.

"I mean, I ditched you last night to hang out with the crew," he continued, explaining, "and I take it, you had your own plan for the evening."

She stared at him confused. Did he know she'd been thinking of him? And remembering their most intimate moment?

He noticed how tense she suddenly became. Not at all like her body instinctively reacted. It seemed she was fighting her instincts. _Why would you do that, Maxie?_, he thought but didn't ask. It only made him more concerned. Why would she be so restless when she'd finally taken some time to rejuvenate herself?

"I mean, I caught your broadcast," he finished. "It was you, right?" He didn't know why he was asking. He knew it was her. But she seemed to be less open suddenly. It made him feel slightly uncomfortable even though he was right where he wanted to be at the moment.

Max looked a bit better hearing what he meant. But she still seemed off to him. Alec wondered if hearing Logan's voice again could have affected her this much. He didn't want it to, but he figured that to be the reason for her attitude.

"Oh, right," she answered, "…dumb idea, huh?" She looked up at him knowing what she was doing and didn't like it. She was looking to him for comfort again. Why did the sight of him calm her so much? She didn't like the attachment she had to him. It made her feel all the more vulnerable.

Instead of returning with some smart comment, or even just an honest opinion, he only responded with that intense stare again. The look in his eyes…she didn't want to accept what his eyes were offering her.

"What are you looking at?" she snapped.

The comment seemed to remind him of his own vulnerability. She only realized he'd been holding her when she felt the absence of his arm around her as he backed away.

"Well, maybe you didn't get enough beauty sleep after all. Cuz that's one hell of an ugly greeting to give to someone that-"

"Invaded my space?" she interrupted him, not wanting to hear the answer.

_Oh,_ he thought, wondering if he'd been invading her space when he'd been working almost nonstop at Logan's of all places just to help find some answers for her. Part of him wanted to be straight with her and ask her just what the hell was suddenly bothering her so much. But something about her rejecting mood only brought out a sarcastic response. "Aww, Maxie. I'm sorry. Did I step inside your bubble?"

Max was relieved to find the look that she'd woken up to was now gone from his eyes. In its place was the usual mischievous golden specks in his intense green eyes. She was also relieved that her own moment of emptiness at the release of his touch was gone, habitually responding to his changed attitude.

"Why the hell did you sneak up on me like that?" she asked him.

She wanted to say more, but only gave him a look before staring at her watch to see how much time had gone by while she slept.

"How'd you even get in here? I locked and bolted the door just so I wouldn't be interrupted," she complained.

"Max…you're asking a transgenic how I got around something as simple as a lock?"

"Well, I guess I know _how_ you got in, what I'd like to know is _why_. You knew it was me in here. Didn't that bolted lock give you a clue to stay out?"

"Oh, my bad, Maxie. You'll have to forgive me for breaking and entering into the place that I've been a slave to for the past few weeks!" he snapped without thinking. _Just great,_ he thought sarcastically. _That'll do it, Alec. Show her how much of an effect she has on you. Just what you want her to realize._

She bit her lip. She knew her anger and rude comments were unjustified. But she couldn't help her own nature.

"Don't put this on me!" she argued, "You could have left at any time!"

_Great. Now I've done it. I opened my big mouth and now I have to come clean. _He'd been hoping for Max's usual response of either a slap upside the head or some insult or accusation of her own. Instead came her other standard response. Denial. He had no choice but to try and justify his statements. As if she would listen. He knew she wouldn't, but he was already trapped. He had to say more.

"And leave you, what… completely alone to deal with this?" he asked her honestly, not understanding where she was coming from.

"Are you questioning my capability here, Alec? Because I don't need your help, okay! I don't need anything from you." Her words were cold. She didn't mean them, she knew it. But she had to say them. As much for herself as for him.

"What I'm questioning…are your intentions," he blurted.

"What does that mean?" she asked angrily.

"You get all your feathers ruffled because, what… you woke up to my presence? Do you realize that you knew I was here all along? Come on, Maxie. You're a transgenic. You sensed I was here. If it really bothered you this much, you would have woken up."

Max was confused. Where was his denial? Why wasn't he running? _He's just like me, isn't he?_

"You act like you know me," she retorted rudely, contradicting what she knew to be true.

Alec looked up to the ceiling and let out some sort of annoyed grunt before facing her again. "Whatever, Max. I came here to see what was going on. Remember, we were working _together_. And you did that broadcast. I wanted to see if I could help, since that's what people do when they work together. But I guess you're fine! So I'll just be on my merry way, then."

His words affected her more than he knew, but she was glad they'd finally come. "Good," was her only lame reply.

He turned to stare at her, this one questioning her. She didn't like it. He knew that this was all bullshit. But thankfully, he didn't call her out on it anymore. He must have known she needed her space. _Because he _does_ know me_, the thought slipped in her mind, even though she wanted to run from it.

"Well, I'll be at work. Call me if your superpowers are down, or…you know, if you need a rebound," he replied coldly.

Max wanted to call him an asshole, or slap him, but he'd already left and closed the door behind him, and she wasn't one to chase after him.

_Damnit_! Max scolded herself. Why did she have to do that? "I think too much," she decided, before realizing she needed to get out herself. This apartment felt too weird to her sometimes. Waking up to Alec in Logan's apartment was really unsettling, and she needed to get away from it.

_Maybe I'll go to work, too_, she thought with a shrug. She would be late but, whatever, nothing new.

-------

Renfro found it difficult to formulate thoughts or plans in her current state. Her head was pounding, and she found her arms still hurt. This time, it seemed, the pain would last longer. Her body was starting to develop a permanent bruise, it appeared, from the procedure.

_Where the hell is it?_ The horrifying question kept taunting her, driving her into near madness. If she couldn't figure out what happened…

It was ironic, really. She knew this. How many times had she tampered with their memories? Even when they forced themselves to forget, there were ways to regain them. To take them, rip them right out of their heads. How they must have felt, to have no control over their actions, bodies, or minds. She'd used them as much as she possibly could. Memories are the thing that people hold onto, what a soldier holds onto. It was what made them have an identity.

Renfro hated it. She'd wanted a way to control their minds. It was the one limitation to her otherwise boundless control over them. If she could find a way to take their memories, then they would truly be soldiers.

_Damn it!_, she thought, realizing what was happening to her. _They aren't people! They're soldiers. They're mine._ A thought worried her more than anything else at the moment. _What have I done?_ Regret was not something Renfro normally accepted or even considered. There was no such thing as a mistake in her eyes. Sure, there were flaws, trial and error that could be corrected so it would never happen again.

It seemed to Renfro that infecting her human DNA with that of her transgenic creation was slowly filtering its way through more than her bloodstream. Why else would she be starting to actually consider how they were taking everything she'd done…their…_feelings._ The word disgusted her, as well as her thoughts.

But then, it remained. It wasn't a question that could easily go away. She was trying her hardest to find the answer. It was like someone was trying to teach her a lesson.

Renfro couldn't accept that. If that were true, it would mean she didn't have control of everything. She controlled them, all of it, the entire operation. Yet she found herself slipping over the one thing she shouldn't even have to try to have control over- her mind.

_Where the hell is it?!_ she asked again, in spite of the pain she was in and the fact that asking it again would do nothing to find the answer. _I want those weeks back_, she thought painfully. Why wasn't it working? It was the same technique she'd used on her soldiers to take their memories. But it seemed to do nothing for herself, at least for the time being.

452 was special. Renfro even remembered why. It was her gene sequence. It was what they'd been looking for. Renfro watched her death in her mind yet again, the haunting memory that she'd been reliving in her nightmares and whenever she laid down on the table for another attempt at getting more back.

Renfro recalled when she'd been awoken. She had been dead, she knew this. But she couldn't remember what happened.

After probing, one memory finally returned. But instead of offering her some peace of mind, it only provided more questions. That's the bad part of trusting no one and not leaving a paper trail. Her memory was not something she planned on escaping her.

Certain files offered some clues. But there was something bigger. She recalled her words to 452, her last words, the one glimpse of her last moments of life that were brought back to her through her own pain and self-manipulation.

_"You're the one we've been looking for!…Find Sandeman."_

"Madame…" one of her staff called through the door, helping her to momentarily escape her troubling thoughts. Renfro, coming to her senses, gathered that he'd been knocking for some time now.

"Ye..yes," Renfro stammered before regaining control of her senses. "Come in." She only then noticed her hand had been shaking uncontrollably. As she stared at it, shocked that the muscle spasm had happened without her noticing anything at all, she focused to stop it and regain full control of her body. The shaking stopped just as the door opened.

The man staring at her looked confused.

She ignored his judgmental stare. It was out of line, and he knew it. It wasn't like he would dare to question her. "Report," she ordered. She swallowed as she prepared herself for the news, trying to ignore the beating going on at her right temple.

"The project is successful. Do you want to go on to part 2 with 493 as planned?"

Renfro glared at him but otherwise kept her composure. "Do I ever refrain from the plan?" She continued, as it was rhetorical. "Where is she?"

"Pardon?" he asked, not sure what she was referring to.

"_Eclipsa_, for Godsakes!" she answered, quickly growing impatient.

"In the cell you prepared," he replied.

"Renfro, are you all right?" He asked out of command.

"If I wanted your sentiments, I would take them without asking," she dismissed his concern while reminding him of his rank.

"What is the status on Lydecker?" she asked.

"Still MIA," he reported.

She nodded. "Well, go on, take to 493," she said, dismissing him.

When he was gone, she held her head in agony. She blamed her situation entirely on 452. If that bitch had been any less self-righteous, Renfro wouldn't be experiencing this pain right now. If 452 could have just accepted the demise of Eyes Only, she would not have to go through with this. Renfro worried, something she hated doing. She worried that this was making her weak, slowly wearing her down. She would need to be examined soon to see how much more her body, and worse, her mind, would be able to sustain.

She had finally found progress, it seemed, regaining her memory of the moment just before her death. This alone made her want to continue, despite her body's rejection of the procedures. But she still didn't have anything conclusive. So many questions still remained. The last successful procedure had happened weeks ago. Every other time since had failed. Just having that word enter her thoughts made her sick. She despised any feeling of weakness.

_I'll just have to keep doing it until it triggers something else,_ she decided, knowing how self-destructive yet gratifying and necessary the procedure was. She could either allow her memory to 'possibly' come back 'in time' over a natural process, as her doctor advised, or she could take matters into her own hands. Waiting for some miracle just wasn't something Elizabeth Renfro could believe or accept._ No,_ she reaffirmed_, I have to keep doing it._ Each time she again laid on that table, her mind seemed to come that much closer to freeing itself from some of the chains that were holding down her memories

Renfro cursed to no one, as she was standing in a room alone. Her body couldn't take much more of this. She was not as young as she had once been. She had to find out everything she'd lost. And she had to move quickly with her projects. There was no telling when her own weakness would inhibit her from finishing something that clearly was worth dying for.

Renfro remembered the plan, after being informed of it all. Her doctors had come through, just as instructed. The flashback came to her when she had been regaining her surroundings and memory.

The worst of it was her own secretive nature and self-pride. She knew her weakness- she knew everything, of course that included whatever flaws remained. She couldn't tell them she didn't remember everything. To the doctors, it was an attempt to somehow retract 656's memories. There was a theory that transferring the DNA would also transfer some of the brain fluids, and perhaps, since they were connected, her memories.

Renfro had to admit, the possibility did intrigue her. It was just an excuse, but maybe not. Maybe it was more than that. She took a moment to wonder what memories 656 might have transferred. _Probably some pathetic attachment to that husband of hers_, Renfro guessed. The thought killed any inspiration or excitement the idea might have provided.

Renfro finally found the pounding getting slighter, more tolerable. She had full control again, despite her body's shortcomings. She opened the folder in front of her, finally ready to really examine its contents.

Her eyes lit up with pleasure as she read the file over. Her lips curved into a twisted smile, something she hadn't found the strength or state of mind to do since she'd escaped the room last. It was a success. This was sooner than she'd expected.

She opened her lips to show a full-toothed grin as she picked up the phone to make the call, hardly containing herself. For the second time that day, she found it difficult to hold in her emotions, but this time due to happiness instead of pain.

"It's done," she spoke into the phone, speaking in French. Her beaming smile was only interrupted to continue speaking. "You know what this means." She paused. "The 2nd part isn't complete yet, but it's only a matter of time. It's been done before. I'll contact you when it's ready."

* * *

a/n: yea, I don't know French, my bad, so just bare with me that the conversation is actually in English 


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"Got one for me?" Max asked Normal to introduce herself into work for the day.

"Oh, lovely! To what do I owe the pleasure of your presence here? Oh, wait… you _work_ here, don't you? At least you _used_ to."

"Cut me some slack, Normal. Maybe _I _was preparing for a wrestling match."

"Riiiight," he returned with a sarcastic nod. "And even if that were true, what makes you think I would care? I don't pay you to go beat up people!"

She shrugged. "It works for Alec, right?"

"The difference there being that Alec is _likable_. People, like myself, enjoy rooting for him! Not to mention his skills in the arena and the fact that he's made me a good amount of pocket change. Now you on the other hand…your attitude is altogether unappealing."

Max threw him a glare. "Do you have a package for me or not?"

"See!" Normal said, pointing at her face, "That is _exactly _what I'm talking about! If I'm not dealing with a bunch of worthless lackeys, I'm dealing with wretched creatures like yourself!"

"I had a doctor's appointment," Max offered.

"That's fabulous! What is that, the 4th one this month? Care to tell me what disease you are dying of? Make it good, I'd appreciate my intelligence being insulted only slightly today."

Max rolled her eyes. "Hate to break it to ya, Normal, but the nature of my illness is none of your business. Ever heard of doctor-patient confidentiality? Plus, I seriously doubt I could insult your intelligence any further than you yourself already have just by acting the way you do."

"Do you _want_ to work here?" Normal asked her.

Max took a moment to think about it. "Not really," she admitted.

"Okay, then! Bip Bip!"

"You still have to give me a package!" she reminded him, her face plainly reading 'duh'.

"Maybe I didn't make myself clear. Let me try again," he explained. "You are _fired_. Effective immediately! Now get out of here!"

Max stared at him with her jaw dropped. "You're kidding me! You're low on staff as it is! Just hand me a package."

Normal didn't say anything for once and only held his expression in place.

"Okay!" Max tried again, "I promise I won't be late tomorrow! Scout's honor. Just cut it out already and tell me where I'm headed."

"I already did!" Normal responded. He pointed to the exit. "You're headed out the door."

While the two stubborn Jam Pony employees were arguing over the situation, Alec returned from a run. "Hey, guys. What's going on?" he asked, his face and voice void of the frustration he'd felt from Max earlier that morning.

Max turned to explain the ridiculous situation. "He's trying to tell me that I'm fired just because I was late."

"Yet again," Normal added. "And let's not forget that you told me to my face that you don't want this job."

"No one does!" Max replied in her defense.

Alec winced with her reply. It seemed he wasn't the only person she was being completely disrespectful toward today. Not that Normal's presence demanded respect, but she could at least _pretend_ that she wanted to work there.

"Listen, Normal," Alec said as he patted the man on the back. "Max was late because of me."

Max was about to open her mouth to protest. She didn't need Alec saving the day for her all the time, especially not at work of all places. But as she opened her lips to speak, Alec's next action forced her silence.

He wasn't thinking, but he silenced her speech the only way he knew how. He planted his lips firmly and swiftly over her mouth and enjoyed a quick taste of Max. He pressed against her with passion and tasted her fully as she returned the kiss.

It was short, considering how long it had lasted the last times their lips had met, but it was enough to leave Max feeling flushed and wanting more, Alec breathing heavily to try and control the desire that was overwhelming him for Max, and Normal staring speechless at the two of them.

"Wha…" Normal trailed once he realized they were finished. He truly didn't know what to say.

Alec found his composure again and smiled at Normal. "See, last night Max was massaging me, you know, cuz I was training too much for my next match."

Normal nodded, trying to follow the story if anything to escape the image of the odd couple before him kissing from running rampant in his mind. "Okay."

"And, well," Alec continued, "We're together now. Maxie, babe," he said with a smirk, putting his arm around her in a seemingly affectionate fashion, but to her it was really a way to piss her off even more. "Were you worried about how Normal would take the news?"

Max put on an affectionate smile although she didn't have to fake enjoying the feel of his arm around her. "Gee!" she said, flashing a huge grin, "How'd you know, Alec?"

"Anyway," Alec continued, "You'll want to keep Max on staff, Normal, especially after today."

"And why is that?" Normal asked.

"Today's my last day."

Max and Normal both were for once in agreement as they stared at him shocked. "What?" Normal asked.

"Yea, I'll be needing a hiatus," Alec continued.

"I thought you said you just became a couple. Why would you leave so suddenly?" Normal asked, more confused now than he had been when he'd been subjected to the sight of them sharing a kiss.

Max tried to explain. She owed Alec, anyway, since he'd helped her out. "This big match of his is in Canada," she tried to explain. "He asked me to come, but I just didn't know how hard that would be for _you_, Normal, having _two_ people leave. So I offered to stay. Plus, I still have those doctor appointments!"

Normal held up his hands in protest. "Listen. I think that _I_ am now going to go see a doctor. I haven't had to think this much in a while. Whatever, I don't care. Just…fine. Go. Here are packages. Tell me later."

Max and Alec remained staring at him, wondering if this meant that everything was fine.

"Bip!" Normal exclaimed as he tossed Max a package.

"And you!" he said to Alec, tossing one at him. "This means you don't get a break today. Now get out of my face."

* * *

"Are you seriously leaving tomorrow?" Max asked Alec once both were finally off work. They were standing in Logan's penthouse, for apparently, what would be the last time in quite a while. 

"Yea," Alec nodded. "Why not? I see no reason to put this off any further. Besides, if you're truly in danger, what good would waiting around like sitting ducks do?"

Max hated that he really did have a good point. "Fine," she replied. "So, I guess this is goodbye, then."

Alec held her face gently in his hand. "Max, it's going to be some time, but don't doubt me so much! I'm a transgenic, remember? I bet I'll find her in a matter of hours."

Max laughed at his ever present cocky attitude despite how anxious she was at the situation. "We both know that's impossible, even for a transgenic."

"Maybe so," Alec admitted. "But I'll do my best. It won't take me that long. Then it's only a matter of my powers of persuasion. You don't doubt those, do you?" he asked her, a smirk on his face.

"I've seen them in full action, haven't I?" Max answered.

"You've benefited from them," he told her.

"Just...be safe," Max told him with a concerned look on her face. "The last thing I need is to have to worry about you on top of everything else."

Alec grinned. "You gonna miss me?"

Max couldn't believe she was getting emotional over this. She really was going to miss him and his company. She wanted him to hold her for tonight. She couldn't shake the terrible feeling that this was a real goodbye. That something was going to happen so that they would never have this moment again, where they were safe and together.

The worried look in Max's eyes brought a similar one to Alec's. He didn't want her to be distressed over this, or anything. Maybe pissing her off would at least take away the fear that was prevalent in her eyes. "So I can't believe you haven't kicked my ass yet for puttin' one on you earlier today."

She looked down, avoiding his gaze. _Damnit, why am I so stubborn? Forget it, Max. This could be the last time you see him. _When she looked back up at him, her eyes were calmer and she looked like she wanted something.

"What is it, Max?" he asked her.

"Do you remember how I woke up this morning?"

"Irritated and moody?" he tried, joking as usual.

"I think it was something like this..." she said casually, as she pulled him toward her and the couch. "See, I was here," she said, laying down. "And you..."

"I was here," he answered as he laid beside her. He didn't think about it but enjoyed that Max wanted them to be like this. He put his arms around her again and she moved comfortably toward his touch. "I'm here," he said in a whisper as he kissed her gently on the top of her head. He wanted her to know that he wasn't going to disappear or abandon her like Logan had. Nothing would keep Alec from Max.

* * *

Max couldn't deny that the time without Alec was driving her nuts. She herself had no leads to aid her search for Logan, so she was left with Jam Pony as her only true activity to look forward to each day. 

Which was going amazing, courtesy of Alec's story. At the time, it had helped her get out of a jam, but by now, it was just annoying. Gossip spread like wildfire through any workplace, and Jam Pony was no exception. Everyone, especially the members of Alec's fan club, like Alycia, kept asking her about him. Max didn't appreciate everyone reminding her of Alec's absence.

"How's the match going? Do they televise those in Canada?" Sketchy asked her while they were on a run together.

Max rolled her eyes for probably the 50th time that day. "_Why_ is everyone asking me that?! It's not like I've talked to him sometime between now and 2 seconds ago when the last person asked me!"

Sketchy noted the fury in Max's eyes. "Well...because you're his girlfriend..." he tried to explain.

It only made Max more upset. "Yea! His _girlfriend!_ Not his agent or manager or whatever else you people expect of me! I don't keep tabs on him, okay! He's an independent man, and if you're so concerned about how he his doing, just call him yourself!"

"You mean, you haven't called him yet?" Sketchy asked. He flashed Max a proud grin. "Man! I wish the girls I dated were more like you! They call me 24/7 and I can't catch a break! Hence, why I don't have one."

"You sure _that_'s the reason?" Max asked him, making sure to knock on the door immediately after so he wouldn't get a chance to argue with her about why he was single at the moment. "Jam Pony messenger!" she greeted with a fake smile. "Sign here, please!"

* * *

Renfro reached out to touch the child in front of her. The child's large brown eyes showed her apprehension and recoil to Renfro's touch, but otherwise, the kid held a strong face and posture. It only made Renfro more pleased. Her project was already showing her instinctive skills at holding up the necessary Manticore mask. 

"Hello, Eclipsa!" Renfro greeted her.

"Hello," the child responded with a soldier's salute.

"I don't really like that name so much, do you? Too much of a mouthful, wouldn't you say?" Renfro asked. Immediately, she regretted the question. There it was again, the consideration that her soldiers were actually people. Why should Renfro care if the kid liked the name? The truth was, Renfro didn't want the top secret project being broadcast to anyone who might meet up with the girl. Only Renfro knew her true purpose. To everyone else, the child was just another in Manticore's long line of experiments.

Renfro was relieved that the child again showed proper behavior in remaining silent. Even though she'd been addressed a question, it seemed the girl knew that it was not appropriate to have opinions in this facility.

"I think we will call you Ellie. What do you say?" This time, Renfro was testing the soldier.

"Yes Ma'am," came the appropriate reply.

"Good!" Renfro said. "Now I have an important question to ask you, and I want you to be honest with me. What do you think of when you hear the name Sandeman?"

Ellie gave a blank stare. "Nothing, Ma'am."

Renfro nodded. She hadn't known what to expect, so the answer neither pleased nor upset her. "I'm going to have you go through some training today, Ellie. You see, you're a very special girl. You have many talents that most people aren't lucky enough to have. So we're going to make sure that you use them to their full potential."

Ellie nodded obediently.

"But first, I need you to take your medicine." Renfro watched as Ellie swallowed the pill as ordered. "Good! I'll be back to check in on you later!"

* * *

**a/n**: thanks for r&r! Well I am trying to speed things up, though hopefully it doesn't read too rushed. I don't know how I feel about this fic anymore! I had a really good idea, I think, and I'm not sure that I'm executing it as well as I'd like. Anyway, let me know what you think of this 


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Renfro's dark eyes were wide with pride. He had turned out just as wonderfully as she'd hoped. She paused to stifle a laugh at that thought. _No, I never 'hoped'_. Renfro was better than that. She had planned for him to come out like this. The next step of her brilliant plan was proving to be just as great a success as the first part.

Her soldier had passed the physical inspection with flying colors, this came as no surprise to her. She knew he would do well, he'd always been a good soldier. That had been his downfall, really, his flawless execution of being the perfect soldier.

She thought with an evil smile how fortunate she was that this moment was even possible. Not making him better, of course. She'd planned too well for that to fail. But that she had a chance to work with him was amazing, something she actually owed to 452 and Lydecker, the man who had been running from death for far too long. She would deal with him later, but for now, she reveled in the fact that 452 had practically gift wrapped 493 for her to have.

The snapped neck was beautiful, as well. His mind had been entirely in tact with a death like that. _His beautiful mind_, she thought with bittersweet bliss. She recalled her performance with Deck, to fool the man into thinking she didn't care what became of 493. It had worked out wonderfully, he'd ended up really coming through, for once. Too bad it had to take fooling him to get what she wanted. He really had the potential to be a great ally. _If he wasn't such a damned sentimental fool_, she thought, cringing again that he had allowed himself to become so attached as to call himself their "father".

_Renfro stared at him condescendingly. Once again, he was disappointing her. But maybe this time, it could work to her advantage without him knowing. "Hello, Deck," she greeted him out of practicality. _

_Her black sheep of the staff sat down all too comfortably in the chair in front of her._ He'd better enjoy that seat, he won't have the opportunity to sit down, or do anything for that matter, much longer

_"Make yourself at home," he had the gall to say to her. "To what do I owe this…pleasure?" _

_She enjoyed seeing his frustration. Clearly, that he had to report to her bothered him. Something about his displeasure served to satisfy her. "Well," she explained, "I read the reports. They found two bodies in Seattle already, only a few days apart. He's accelerating."_

_"I'm on it," he replied succinctly._

_"I hope so," Renfro told him, not satisfied with his control of the situation._ But that's what I'm counting on_. "At least the others are considerate enough to maintain a low profile. But this one…" she trailed, giving him an opportunity to explain himself, on the surface. Really, she just wanted to watch him as he realized his "kid" was a screw up, and there was nothing that "daddy" could do about it. She wondered what bullshit answer he would use to try and make it seem like it wasn't as horrible as it truly was._

_"…is an anomaly," he replied, again, not offering much to his explanation._

_Renfro wanted to laugh._ Oh, Deck. I knew this would be amusing_, she thought with a smile. "Is he?" she asked in disbelief, hoping to watch him squirm a bit, and hopefully sell the idea that she didn't give a damn about his "kids". It would work to her benefit if he thought she only wanted them hidden or dead._

_"The other X5s…they never showed any signs of this type of pathology," he explained._

_"So far," she continued to doubt and discredit him. "Did X5-493-" She stopped suddenly, remembering the name that Deck referred to his "son" as. "Or, um…would you prefer to call him the name the others gave him?" she asked. She stared at him with mocking eyes. "'Ben', is it?"_

_"X5-494 is fine," he replied._

_She grinned. He was trying to hide his feelings. Funny, something the man surely prided himself in was his lack of emotion, but she could see right through his facade of the obedient general._

_"Did he ever show any signs of psychosis before the '09 escape?" she asked, getting to the point._

_"No," he answered honestly, not wondering where she was going with this line of questioning._

_"Then what makes you think that the rest of this group aren't just waiting to implode? And let me remind you of something, Deck. Your kids are messy when they implode. We had to put down an entire class." _

_He somehow remained calm, but she could see she was getting to him. "The X2s were… an anomaly."_

_Renfro this time almost couldn't hold in her laughter. "Another anomaly! Well, they're starting to add up, aren't they? We executed 26 potential soldiers. The 4 we held onto for observation will spend the rest of their miserable lives muzzled and restrained. That is not an anomaly, Deck. That's a disaster."_

_She stood up before giving her order. "Find him. Bring him back to Manticore. And figure out what the hell went wrong with him."_

What really ended up taking place had worked out for her quite nicely. 452 had been an unexpected addition to the mission. She had allowed 493 to return to base almost entirely in tact. Lydecker, as usual, had underestimated Manticore, never being able to see beyond his role as the "father" of his precious X5ers. He had never expected that Renfro would bring the soldier back, improve his once lost mind, and use him to do whatever she wished without needing to check with his "daddy" first.

Renfro smiled as she noticed how calm and silent the soldier was, standing in front of her. Perfectly obedient. He didn't even need her to tell him that he'd passed the physical examination. He was one of the better soldiers there.

It was the mental examination that she had been worried about. He had always been the most brilliant, which came at a price- his mind was also the most troubled. In the end, he had created his own reality, and could not in his fragile state find the difference between his and the actual reality.

Renfro thought bitterly again about 452. She had killed him. He had asked her, of course. _I guess in the end, the soldier in him did win_, Renfro thought. But the moment, though annoying with 452's meddling, had only created a better situation for Renfro. So looking back, she only found more satisfaction.

She stared at the reports, more than pleased with the findings. All signs of his flaws were gone. His mind was now better stable than most other X5s.

"How do you feel?" she asked him, curious to hear what he would say. She'd never had the opportunity to speak to him yet.

"Ready," came the simple reply.

"Your file was quite a read," Renfro commented. She was testing him. "Do you remember your past?" she asked.

"I remember all of my training, Ma'am."

"And?"

"There is no more."

"Where have you been these past 12 years?"

"Various missions for Manticore that required my memory of the mission to be erased, standard protocol."

Renfro smiled. She couldn't wait to give him his first assignment.

* * *

Max couldn't shake the horrible feeling overwhelming her. Alec had been gone for 2 weeks straight now with no word. _Why hasn't he contacted me?_ She hadn't slept since he'd left, which was not unsual, given her shark DNA. But even she had her limits. She longed to lay in his arms again. She didn't want to sleep again unless it was with him. 

The thought put a tiny smile on her face. She would have never imagined being with Alec could feel so natural and make her so happy. _But you're not _really_ with him_, she reminded herself. _It's just the running gag at work_. But her heart told her otherwise. She really did feel like they were together, truly connected. Which was making the weeks without him seem even longer.

"Last package for the day!" Normal called to Max as he handed her a small box.

"Finally!" Max complained as she got onto her bike. She was eager to get out of there. She knew that nothing exciting lay ahead for her day, but for some reason she was very anxious to get home. There was a worry in her heart.

Gossip at work had finally moved beyond Alec and Jam Pony's latest couple. She'd been Alec-free in conversations for the past few days now. _So why can't I stop thinking about him today?_ she wondered, her worry increasing, as she pedaled faster to get her last run overwith.

* * *

Max slumped onto the same couch that she'd last rested with Alec upon in Logan's old penthouse as soon as she came home from work. She sighed out of boredom and the worried feeling that she still hadn't managed to shake. 

A clicking sound in another room caught the attention of her ears and she perked up with anticipation. _Is someone here?_

Max crept into the room to find Logan's computer on, a message coming through. _I don't remember leaving this on_ she realized as confusion spread across her face. Being a transgenic, she had heightened senses, and so she stood for a moment trying to figure out if there was another presence in the place besides herself.

Her focus was interrupted though, as she read the words that were appearing on the computer screen as a message came through. _What the hell? _The computer hadn't had any activity since the day Alec received a message which by now was long ago. _What is going on?_

She read as the codename 'eyesonly4u' from some online love site came through. **saw Ur profile. Ur hot. whatsup?**

Max snorted as she read the lame message. _Internet flirting these days! Please, now I can't even escape lame pickup lines in the privacy of my own home! This is probably some bored little 12 year old whose mommy and daddy grounded him. What a loser. _She shook her head as she realized who it was to blame for this. _Alec! That idiot must have signed me up as a joke_. She reminded herself to add it to the list of reasons why she was going to kick his ass as soon as she saw him next.

Max typed a response: **_do your parents know you're not doing your homework right now? _**A thought then occurred to her. _Damn. I'm just as big a loser for even talking to this little dweeb. _As fun as the prospect of talking to an underage hornball sounded to Max for how she would spend her Friday evening, she realized that was the sign she was looking for that she needed to get out. She considered hitting up Crash. _Or hell, at this point, I'd even be up for a good heist! Anything to get out of this depressing place!_

**We shood mEt. 2morO? the high place?**

Max froze as she read the message. _The high place... _Her mind immediately took her to the top of the Space Needle. A place that very few people knew meant something to her. Not to mention, no one called it that. Except..._Ben?_

_No! Ben died! You watched him die!_ She brushed off the eerie coincidence and it only annoyed her more that somehow a little dork had gotten to her through his challenged vocabulary.

**_Sure. We'll meet. In your dreams, kid! Which reminds me, isn't it past your bedtime? Anyway, nice chatting with you, but I'm gonna get back to my life!_ **

With that Max turned around to leave, only to feel all her breath escape her as the face looming in front of hers scared her more than she thought possible. She stood completely frozen as she found herself staring face to face with a ghost.

-------------------------------------------------

The handsome face of the man she was missing alone was harmless. But when she took in the haunting stare in his dark, empty eyes...the posture and the way he was holding himself together like a true soldier...the innocence in how calmly he was waiting there for her to notice him standing in the shadows...the expression that held so many stories behind it...

"Ben!" she exclaimed with a gasp as the breath finally escaped her. Max then began to come to her senses and wondered why she was talking to a figment of her imagination. The sight before her was _definitely_ a sign that she needed to get out more...immediately!

But as she attempted to push through the silvery image in front of her, she realized it was solid, and she ended up closing all space between herself and the man in front of her. Her breath remained trapped in her throat for a different reason as she gazed longingly into the hazel pools that were taking her with their innocence and familiarity. A feeling crept up her spine and she felt a burning come over her cheeks. She desired this man and it was hard to deny it with how close she now was to his lips that looked soft and dry for her to take them with her own.

He only increased her desire and anxiety as he reached up with one hand to stroke the face that was so close to his own. "Max..." he said in a voice as calm and gentle as his touch.

She instinctively turned toward his touch before she came to her senses and backed away.

She found herself completely speechless as she stared at him. Who was this man in her apartment with the face that she knew so well?

--------------------------------------------------

"Maxie..." he said to her, giving her a confused look. "What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost." He showed eyes of concern although he flashed her a confident and cocky grin.

"I..." she said after a pause. She still looked confused and didn't let her stare leave him as she continued to try and figure out who she was staring at and what had just happened.

"Max!" he repeated with a carefree stare mocking her tense state. "You look like you could use a massage. What do you say?" He gave her the familiar wiggling of his brow and his smirk as he made the suggestion.

"Alec!" she replied without thinking. The rest of the reply was going to be something like 'you're such an idiot sometimes', before she realized what she was saying. _Alec?_ She again gave him a questioning stare.

"Okay!" Alec replied. "Remind me never to leave you on your own again! First you take me for your dead brother and then you can't tell if I'm really Alec! Just how many twins do you think Manticore cooked up of me? I mean, I know I'm good looking and all, but still, _three_ gorgeous men with this face? I don't think the world can handle all of that, do you?"

Max snorted. "More like the world can't take another idiot like you!"

He moved his hand right above his heart in mock concern. "Maxie...that hurts me, you know. I thought you might have missed me."

"Like missing a pain in my ass!" she replied. She _had_ missed him of course. _If this is really Alec..._ She noticed, though, that his eyes that initially had appeared dark and troubled now looked carefree and full of spirit. His posture which she'd first taken to look like that of the perfect soldier now appeared more relaxed and natural, more true to his cocky nature. And he seemed to carry himself with an ego that couldn't be measured. It was definitely Alec.

She considered it just a fluke from the coincidence that her unknown internet perve had just reminded her of Ben right before she noticed Alec. _Plus, it's been a while since I've seen Alec_, she reasoned.

Finally, she allowed her body to process the excitement of Alec's return. She couldn't help but grin at him despite the slap upside his head that came next.

"Hey!" Alec complained, rubbing one hand against the spot where her hand had made contact with his head. "What the hell was that for?"

Max shrugged. "It's what you get."

"For what!"

"A number of reasons!" she told him. "Sticking me with Normal for 2 weeks, not contacting me at all, and sneaking up on me like that!"

"While you were what?" he asked her. "Enjoying some casual conversation with an internet hottie?" He was mocking her and it made her cheeks burn more.

"Oh, you enjoyed that?" she asked him in an accusing voice. "Because I'm pretty sure that _you_ are the one that signed me up for that!"

"Well maybe I knew that you'd enjoy it so much!" he told her. "Maybe I anticipated you missing me and wanted you to still have _some_ company. It's only because I care, Maxie!" He again gave her a feigned look of concern.

"Right!" she returned, rolling her eyes.

"So you didn't miss me...even a little?" he asked her as he gently poked her in the ribs.

Max felt a tiny blush coming over her cheeks. She tried to ignore it by focusing on something else. "So, what happened, anyway? As your girlfriend, I think I have a right to know!" She meant the comment to be lighthearted teasing, but the reaction it brought was not one she was expecting.

His eyes flinched for a moment as something dark within them flashed for a split second. But just as quickly, he was back to looking at her carefree and like a smart-ass. "Okay, my girlfriend. Why don't you show your boyfriend how much you missed him?" He again wiggled his brow at her.

Max couldn't deny that the desire to do just that was growing within her the longer she stared at him. His absence made her even more ready to quit running from the way she truly felt about him and she longed again to lay in his arms.

But something didn't feel quite right. Even as he was drawing a desire from her, she couldn't shake the feeling that had been following her all day long. Something was wrong. But she couldn't place what exactly that was.

She didn't have much more time to consider what exactly it was that was troubling her though, as she heard the distinct sound of another message coming through from the computer. Immediately, her eyes flashed over the terminal out of curiosity.

**w8. U have 2 come. we have 2 talk. about the blue lady.**

Max again felt her breath captured. Could this all really be such a coincidence? The message continued as she felt her heart racing. **Ur in danger**.

Before she could read the rest or allow one more question to form in her mind, Alec took all of her attention in one swift action as his lips pressed against hers. Her mouth opened out of surprise to the message and instinctive fear. Alec took advantage of the open passage for his tongue and felt the breath of her gasp fill his mouth before he interrupted it by tasting her.

Max found herself helpless to deny the desire that had building since she'd first realized his presence as she answered his kiss, showing him just how much she had missed him and the way he made her feel.

As Max enjoyed the taste of Alec, she felt the usual shrill go up her spine. But she couldn't help thinking that there was something different about his taste this time. He was so aggressive as he sucked, it was like he wanted to devour her in desperation of the limitations that this moment wasn't going to last forever.

Max pulled away not because she didn't enjoy it. On the contrary, she felt a rush course through her as her pleasure increased. But a feeling lingered that bothered her. As amazing as the kiss was, she didn't recognize it. Of course, she and Alec had only joined lips twice, so maybe she didn't remember as well as she thought she would. Nonetheless, she couldn't help herself from backing up to literally question the strange feeling that came with the taste of Alec this time. "Alec?" she asked him, staring into his dilated eyes.

Alec immediately it seemed realized that he was putting it on too strong. He responded not with words but with light kisses forming a line from her chin down to her neck where he sucked more gently, eliciting a moan of pleasure from Max.

This time, Alec pulled away, much to Max's dismay as she was getting into the moment. "Come on," he said, pulling her toward him gently as he wandered out of the room. "Where do you want to sleep tonight?"

Max grinned, realizing that as innocent as it might seem, she wanted to fall asleep to the feel of him surrounding her more than a passionate make out session right now. "How'd you know that I am due for a good nap?" she asked him with a pleased smile as she followed his lead out of the room.

Alec grinned. "It must be those awful bags under your eyes," he joked, though the sight of Max looked far from tired. She was more beautiful than he remembered. He made a mental note not to leave her for an extended period of time ever again.

Max punched him lightly in response. "Smart ass!" she exclaimed but with a grin. She then pulled him down toward the couch that was now familiar to her. She continued to pull his arms around her to complete the familiar feeling she'd been missing in his absence.

Max allowed herself to relax as she enjoyed the moment. Her eyes finally fluttered shut and the last sensation she felt before falling into a deep sleep was the touch of Alec's soft lips on her forehead in a chaste goodnight kiss.

* * *

**a/n: **thanks **secret**, **deirax**, **christique**, **time2waste247, purplebunnywabbit, **and **dustori **! I am really glad to hear that you all are enjoying this. 


	8. Chapter 8

**a/n**: Sorry that this update took a bit longer than I wanted. Thanks to **Deirax**, **timetowaste247**, **lakergirl08**, **christique**, **purplebunnywabbit**, and **src13** for your kind reviews! Hopefully this chapter will not disappoint! One question is definitely answered...

* * *

**Chapter 8**

Max woke up with a smile that had been missing for the past several days. In Alec's absence, she'd realized how much happier she was with him around.

She had known for quite some time now her true feelings for him. It was herself that had placed a veil over her eyes regarding him.

But now that it was lifted, she was free to enjoy fulfilling what she truly wanted. And what she wanted right then was to get a nice good morning kiss!

Max turned her head around with an excited grin only to find the smile fade from her face. She was staring at an empty lump of covers where Alec had fallen asleep the night before.

_Now where has he gotten to?_, she wondered with a quiet sigh. He'd seemed so happy to see her again last night, and he still hadn't told her anything about Canada. She didn't think he would leave without at least filling her in on something.

As Max got up with a stretch, her eyes scanned the clock and surprise immediately spread across her face. It was far from being the morning! She'd slept in until past 4 o'clock!

Right on cue, Max heard the faint vibrating of her pager in the opposite room. She rushed to see who she'd missed hearing from, hoping to see Alec's number.

Max had missed 4 calls. Two from Cindy, one from Normal, and one from… "Alec!" Max said, grinning despite the fact that she'd have to come up with a new excuse for missing work for the day.

Max immediately picked up the phone and punched in Alec's number. More than likely, he had gone to work and allowed her to sleep.

Unfortunately, his phone only rang once before the voicemail picked up. Max hung up without leaving a message.

_Hmm_.., she thought, wondering why his phone would be off right then.

Max decided not to worry about that for now, and instead dialed Cindy's number to gage what kind of an excuse she'd need to offer Normal tomorrow for why she'd skipped out on work.

---------------------------------------------------------

The wind was blowing stronger than he remembered. He'd only been up here one other time before. It really was on top of it all, the 'high place'. He scanned the space needle to see if he had his scheduled company yet.

_The city really looks dead from up here,_ he noted, staring below. All the mindless unknowns, bustling about their day, as if whether they made it to work on time today even mattered. _Or rather, made it home_, he corrected himself, as he stared at his watch. Just where was 'eyesonly4u'? _I may be waiting for a while,_ he realized with a sigh.

It only gave him more time to contemplate Max. Just the person he didn't want to think about, even though she was his reason for being there to begin with. _She's my mission,_ he reminded himself, recalling in his mind his training for this moment of being in Seattle to find Max.

_"Can you do this 493?" Renfro asked him. She knew he was ready physically and mentally. It was all about motivation. He didn't exactly appear enthusiastic to take on a new mission even though he'd already been briefed and gone through preliminary training for the successful execution of her plan._

_"Yes, Ma'am," he responded accordingly. He really was ready. He couldn't remember his own personality, so having one spoon-fed to him wasn't such a difficult task._

_"Practice," she demanded._

_"Ma'am?" he asked for clarity, unsure what she meant. _How am I supposed to do this with her? She was always 494's superior.

_"Come on, _Alec_," she demanded, giving special emphasis to the name. "Let's see what you've got. I don't want to send you into the field only to tip off 452 that we're onto her."_

_"What do you want?" he asked more directly. He still didn't know what it was that was expected of him in this moment._

_"Pretend I'm Max," she offered._

_493 almost laughed. "With all due respect, Ma'am. Even in play land, Max is irreplaceable. I could never effectively picture you as her." Ben held in his mind the image he'd been shown of his grown up sister. Strangely, he held no brotherly affections or regard for her, though he did have to shake the overwhelming urge to keep her safe. A soldier had no room for sentimentality getting in the way of carrying out the mission. His brother Zack had taught him that well enough._

_Thoughts of Zack assaulted 493 as he remembered his brother's overbearing personality and orders. _Ben…_he realized. _My name is Ben.

_Renfro smiled with pride at his blunt response. "There he is!" she commented. "That smart-ass poor excuse of a soldier, 494. You paid attention in training."_

_"Were you expecting otherwise?" Ben snapped at her confidently. He was careful to portray the image of Alec to her. But his mind was struggling at remembering his own identity._

_Part of Ben didn't want to remember who he once was. He had a horrible feeling that 'Ben' ought to be buried forever to never return. Besides, being 'Alec' was much easier than trying to figure out his own complex identity. And Ben had to admit, playing Alec had its perks. He had never really taken a liking to Renfro. In his eyes, Lydecker was always his one true superior. At least in this way, he could insult her and still somehow satisfy her. As he contemplated her twisted nature, he found himself getting disgusted and focused to quit that train of thought before he got carried away._

_"Good," Renfro continued to compliment him. "Now you fully understand your mission?"_

_"Successfully con X5-452 into believing I'm her trusted sidekick, otherwise known as Alec."_

_"And?" Renfro demanded impatiently. That was hardly the most important part of her plan._

_"I wasn't finished," he responded rudely. "Geez! It wouldn't kill you to work on your patience!" After her response of another satisfied grin at his successful transformation, he continued. "I am to earn 452's full trust and retrieve any information that might lead to finding the whereabouts of-"_

_"Don't say his name!" Renfro interrupted with an unexpected order._

_493 stifled a laugh. This time he wasn't just being condescending and rude simply to play his role. He truly found amusement in her hatred of the man. "Madame Director, I never pictured you to be so superstitious. Is his name now a taboo? You should have mentioned that in my briefing."_

As Ben recalled his conversation with the director, he found himself considering something else she should have told him in the briefing. He replayed in his mind Max's reaction upon realizing it was Alec.

_They're together_, he realized with a hard swallow. That certainly wasn't brought up in his briefing. It would have been a good advantage to know ahead of time that he was expected to kiss and hold her.

But holding Max wasn't new for Ben. He'd always tried to comfort her when they were younger. As soon as he had taken her into his arms and had her scent surround him, he found himself remembering. He'd done so before, so many times.

But not like it was at the penthouse. When they were younger, it was different. As he held her in that penthouse, he could feel her love for the man holding her. It affected him even more than his memories, this beautiful love that she carried for him.

_But it's not me, _he realized with a frown. It was Alec that Max wanted. It was Alec that she was with.

_It's not my place, anyway, _Ben told himself. Jealousy was a new feeling for him, and one that he didn't want to experience any more. The fact that Max cared for Alec was just another facet to his mission. Now that he knew this, he simply had to adjust the way he carried the whole thing out, keeping it in mind.

Thoughts of his mission drew him back to contemplating his previous conversation with Renfro.

_"Well I'm mentioning it now!" she snapped at him. He was thoroughly annoying with his cocky, smart-ass attitude. But it was exactly what the mission called for, so she couldn't help being pleased at his current persona._

_"There's one more thing you need to be aware of before you go," she told him._

_"What's that?" he asked, speaking entirely out of command. He really had successfully taken on the cocky, self-serving smart-ass's personality. The realization only increased his confidence and anticipation of the mission at hand._

_"452, or Max, as you are going to refer to her as," she began. "The two of you are a high match for breeding capabilities."_

_Possibilities flashed through 493's mind, but he couldn't find the answer within as to what exactly that meant or what it had to do with his mission. "What do you mean?" he asked her._

_"I paired her up with 494 as breeding partners before due to their high compatibility. I wanted successful copulation and it just so happens that their DNA is a very good match."_

_"So I need to act hot and bothered by her?" he asked smartly._

_Renfro laughed coldly at his naivety. "You won't have to act," she informed him. "You and 494 are twinned, if you didn't put two and two together." She paused for effect. "You and 494 have very similar genetic sequences." She let him finish connecting the dots._

_"So Max and I are also highly compatible breeding partners," he finished._

_"You're not breeding partners," she told him. "494 is her assigned partner. I'm just offering you a warning."_

_"And what is that?" he asked._

_"Don't get carried away or too caught by surprise when you find yourself forgetting about the mission and getting wrapped up in your own animal desires for her."_

_493 found her assumptions of his primal reactions insulting. He was a soldier above all else. He couldn't believe she was doubting his abilities in the mission before it even began. "Why don't you try and hold in your surprise when I am successful in this mission," he responded confidently._

_"Did you gather what I just told you?" she asked him, again showing her impatience._

_"I'm going to be turned on by Max. Point noted," he replied. "So when am I leaving for my mission?"_

_"Immediately," she answered. "You're ready."_

Ben swallowed as he again thought of Max. He hadn't anticipated having to kiss her, but it was clearly what she wanted from Alec. He did what he had to do for his mission.

But it wasn't so much the affectionate act that bothered him. It was his own reaction to the taste and feel of Max's lips. He hadn't just enjoyed it. When he'd tasted Max, he felt a desire burn within him that was almost out of control. Max, too, had noticed. It had almost cost him blowing his cover.

Ben smirked at his own limitations. So Renfro was right. He needed to keep his desires in check. _But she's _not _all-knowing_, Ben commented in his mind of the director with a satisfied smirk. She hadn't known about the intensity of Max and Alec's relationship. _She'll be expecting it in my report_, he realized. For the time being, he wasn't so sure that he was going to mention that detail to her. He was more than certain she had left out a few details herself in informing him of his past.

Ben breathed a heavy sigh as he considered his current situation. For the time being, he felt like he should follow the mission. Whoever he truly was, he still had the overwhelming desire to be the very best soldier he could possibly be.

_But the motivation is difficult when you hate your director_, he realized, again smirking as he realized that his mind was finally safe from her. At least for now, he could enjoy the liberty of leaving out whatever details he wanted. He was on a solo mission, and so she would have no choice but to believe him.

That thought, as well as the natural smirking, led to another. He really was taking on the cocky, self-serving, smart-ass personality of the rogue soldier. Whether or not that was a good thing, he didn't know. It would make his mission easier. As well as manipulating Max.

The thought of using Max's desires against her didn't sit well with Ben. But he wouldn't allow himself to reflect any further on that. _Get it together, soldier!_, he told himself. If he was to succeed the way he intended, he couldn't afford to second-guess himself or his mission.

Which is why he was actually grateful when he noticed a slight change in the wind atop the Space Needle at that moment. He grinned while remaining hidden in the darkness. Finally he could do what it was he did best. He never wasted time second-guessing his actions as a soldier. His hazel eyes narrowed upon his current target. Finally, the man had arrived.

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**a/n**: Thanks for reading! I would love a review! Sorry to again leave a clifie, but that means you'll know for sure who it is at the start of the next chap! 


	9. Chapter 9

**a/n**: Thank you all for your reviews from the last chapter!

this one shows who Ben is meeting on the Space Needle and also brings a welcome (for me at least!) return of someone else...

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**Chapter 9**

Ben remained hidden in the shadows, waiting to greet the man who'd come close to jeopardizing his mission until the most advantageous moment would arise. Ben watched as the man scanned the place and held a naïve look on his smug face. Clearly, the ordinary man felt completely safe and assumed he was all alone.

Ben's lips curled slightly downward despite the emotionless state that he was in. Even though Ben didn't care much of anything, he couldn't help looking down upon the guy. Something of the man's meddling ways and persona bothered Ben, even though they'd never met before, according to Ben's recollection. He didn't like not knowing for sure whether they truly knew one another.

_Have we met before?_, Ben continued to second-guess himself and his current hazy mind. He began searching his mind for some connection from his past to this clueless man standing atop the Space Needle.

Ben gave up after he came up with nothing. His only recognition of the man had come from Renfro's photos. Which unfortunately meant that Ben had no choice but to believe his director. Ben needed to know his enemy, and so he strained to recall what he'd been told about this man.

"_Before you go, I want to give you a gift, 493," Renfro said to his back, speaking in a generous and concerned tone._

_Even though he was just beginning to gain back his shattered memories, Ben knew not to believe her. A gift from Renfro could only be a Trojan horse. What did she have to gain? In what way was she trying to exploit him?_

_But Ben kept his concerns to himself and only nodded slowly, an obedient look fixed on his face even though at the moment he had the advantage of her not being able to see him. He pictured in his mind what her dark eyes must look like right now as she stared at her chess piece. Was this moment a test? He got the impression that she wanted him to keep acting like Alec. Which made sense given that he was a half an hour away from leaving the facility to head for Seattle for the successful completion of his deep-cover mission._

_Ben willed a cocky smirk to spread across his face before turning to face her. As he quickly scanned her cold eyes, he noticed that he'd been right. She didn't want to talk to 493 anymore. She probably wouldn't want to again until the mission was over. "Did you wrap it for me in pretty paper?" he responded accordingly._

_Renfro momentarily flashed him an irritated, albeit amused look before regaining herself. "It's not that kind of gift, soldier." She paused to take a breath before continuing. "Knowledge, 493. Or I guess by now I should say 'Alec', since you are already in the process of completing your mission."_

_Ben couldn't help raising one eyebrow in curiosity. He scanned her to see if she was telling him the truth or not while maintaining a Manticore mask. He already knew that he couldn't take anything she said at face value. Though he didn't really want the answer himself, he couldn't help thinking that there was a darker reason for his memory's absence than simply standard protocol of a mission. He felt like his subconscious was hiding a secret, even from himself._

"_I know that you have questions," she admitted to him._

_Ben swallowed and tried to remain expressionless. If she knew he didn't completely trust her, it meant he was failing to conceal his true thoughts from her. His thoughts were the only thing he felt that could remain safe from her, but it seemed she had ways to control those as well. Ben made a mental note to be more cautious around her from then on._

_Renfro enjoyed the surprise that her comment elicited from this broken soldier. Renfro tried to portray her smile as one of genuine concern for the troubled soldier instead of her own joy at his confusion. She appreciated that he still wasn't perfect. She enjoyed the control she held over him. That was the fun part of dealing with something broken. You get to fix it however you want. He was seeking trust. Why not give it to him in a way that could help her as well? If anything, it would at least give him some motivation._

"_I want you to know something, 493," she continued. "You died before," she confessed to him._

_Ben knew that his emotions were no longer concealed. Although his face remained fixed, showing nothing, there wasn't anything he could do to hide the effect of her statement in his broken eyes. _

I died?_ For a brief moment, racing images of a dark forest danced in his mind before a loud 'snap' that he could almost feel at the top of his spine brought him back to reality. He swallowed once more before regaining his soldier's stance and Manticore mask as he obediently waited for more information, or an order, whatever she wanted to give next._

"_And to put your mind at ease, I want you to know the face of your killer."_

_It took a great deal of focus for 493 to remain expressionless at this remark. _I didn't just die. I was murdered._ Desire for revenge flared in his mind at this idea. This was a new feeling for Ben that he tried to suppress._

"_Here," Renfro said as she handed him a picture. "This is the man that murdered you, 493." She held out a small file of information she'd collected about the man._

_Ben struggled to keep his hands from shaking as he reached out for the truth. He confidently swiped the photo and held it up to his eyes to put into memory the face of his killer. It was an ordinary looking man. He had a smug look on his face, but other than that, he looked like any other person._

_That was when Ben noticed his eyes. It was like they were piercing him, the icy blue hues he was staring into. Even this photograph had captured their remarkable effect._

_Ben quickly scanned the information about him before he was again aware that someone was watching him in this moment. Was this only for her to watch him become tormented? Ben wanted to ask why she was telling him this. She couldn't possibly care about his peace of mind._

"_And I also want you to know that this man is dead, 493. So there! You have nothing to distract you from your mission now. There are no more remaining questions."_

Yeah, nothing to distract me…except maybe figuring out how some ordinary man somehow managed to one up and _murder_ a genetically engineered killing machine. _"How did I die?" Ben couldn't help asking her._

_Renfro couldn't quite conceal her annoyance in his question. "Gunshot," she replied tersely. "Anything else? Your motorcycle will be here in 10 minutes."_

_Ben stared into her challenging eyes but didn't dare respond. If he spoke one more word, he would only be giving her the seed of doubt. Something he didn't want to encourage at all. It would be better if he could continue to appear complacent and dormant._

"_Thank you, Madame Director," he feigned gratitude and trust in what she'd just revealed to him even though it had only brought him more questions._

Part of Ben wanted revenge for his death. If it wasn't for this man, at least according to that wretched director, Ben would never have had to go through the motions of life as he was now, feeling like a ghost, a stranger to his own mind.

But another part of Ben simply did not care. What did it matter whether or not this man ended his life? It wouldn't change any of the confusion or emptiness Ben was feeling. As he stared curiously at the man, Ben wondered if they were at all similar. Ben was nothing more than a blind sheep, following the orders of a person he didn't even respect.

But as Ben stared harder at the man, he decided otherwise. _That reckless idiot is nothing like us_, he realized. Ben could tell he had come out of his own free will. _What fool would willingly walk up to their executioner?_

Ben watched as the man leaned dangerously close to the edge of the Space Needle, carelessly looking for something…or someone.

-----------------------------------------

"So you tellin' sista here that Normal's Golden Boy is back?" Cindy asked Max.

They were enjoying a carefree evening at Crash, or at least trying to. Max couldn't help being antsy. The closest she'd ever come to feeling so restless was during one of her heat spells. She swore to herself that the next time she saw Alec, she would demand answers. As carefree as she felt in his arms, she didn't have the luxury of ignoring the rest of her problems. He had to have found out _something_ useful while in Canada. But since he obviously wasn't worried, it helped ease her enough to at least try to have a good time with her friends for the night.

"Do my ears deceive me?" Sketchy asked as he entered the conversation. "Monty Cora returns? Where the hell is the guy?" He then held up a fist for Max to pound in greeting. "Max! Welcome to the living."

"Thanks, Sketch," Max said with an amused smile as she returned the gesture with a partially gloved hand.

"By the way, Max," Sketchy added, holding a hand over his mouth like he was telling her some insider information. "I really did inform Normal of your untimely death."

"Sketch!" Max exclaimed with wide eyes. He couldn't be serious!

"No worries, Max! I also relayed the information that the doctors gave you- that your genetically defected heart would be up and running by Monday after minor surgery and even more minor recovery."

Max let out a laugh at his excuse. "Thanks," she said sincerely as she considered the irony of his statement.

"See?" Cindy commented to Max with a smile. "Girl, I knew you was gon' be fine afta a night wit da crew!"

Max had to agree. "Yeah, I'm havin' a good time."

"And on that note," Sketchy replied, "I'll be heading to the bar for the next round! Drink up, ladies! More right around the corner!" With that, Sketchy headed to the bar, carrying the empty pitcher.

Cindy started shaking her head to the beat. "Hella good music up in here tonight!" she commented. "Makes a momma wanna shake it!"

"So whatcha waitin' for then?" Max asked with a smile. "Go and get your groove on!" She leaned her head toward the dance floor.

O.C. gave a coy grin before getting up. "Girl, I'ma do just that! You hold the table down fa me. I'ma be back afta this one."

Max laughed. "Okay! Just don't go givin' out your number." She then flashed Cindy a mock innocent stare. "I get jealous easy."

Cindy waved the comment away literally with one hand. "Girl! Keep ya shirt on! I'ma be right back!" With that, she stepped out to dance.

The sound of a pitcher hitting the table caused Max to turn her view away from the dance floor. "Finally!" she teased. "Took you…" she trailed as she turned to find Alec holding the pitcher.

"On me?" he offered with a cocky grin.

Max's full lips automatically parted in slight surprise. She quickly closed them tightly and replaced her surprised eyes with distant ones. "Trying to kiss up?" she asked with a roll of her eyes.

Alec's good mood wasn't phased. He opened his mouth to respond, "Ah…I wouldn't say that. Call it a greeting. What better one could there be?" He again grinned widely at her.

Max rolled her eyes again, before facing him seriously. "Well, I could think of one…" she admitted before trailing off.

Alec laughed. "That's cute of you, Max." He brushed off her unusual comment and poured her a glass. "Here, drink up! I should have gotten champagne, but hey, this will work just as well."

Max was a bit surprised that he hadn't gone for the bait. She was truly expecting a kiss after her remark. Did Alec have a problem with public displays of affection with his self-proclaimed girlfriend?

Certainly, he had no qualms about the matter when it was just the two of them. "Now is that any way to greet your girlfriend?" Max challenged him, a slight smile on her face despite the minor rejection she'd just been hit with.

It was Alec's turn to part his lips in momentary shock. "Uh.…you know, you're right." As Max smiled back into his eyes, expecting a kiss, she was again disappointed and confused when instead of a kiss, she then received another smart-ass comment. "Why don't you come over here and give me a proper greeting?" he suggested, his eyebrows wiggling as he smiled in anticipation.

Max frowned at him, fury showing in her brown eyes. The comment made her want to slap him. "A proper greeting for you would be a kick to your ass!" she commented.

"Hey now!" Alec replied in his defense. "We're celebrating here, remember!"

"No," Max answered aggressively. "Why don't you refresh my memory. Why am I supposed to be happy right now again?"

"Well," he began. "You're here, alive and well. And so am I."

"…And?!" Max asked, showing her impatience.

"Aaand. The warning was bogus, Max. Don't you care about what happened in Canada?" He finally was serious, his token smirk fading as he asked her the question.

"Of course I do!" Max answered honestly. "I guess, I just don't get it. Why didn't you want to talk about this earlier?"

"I called you," he offered.

Max rolled her eyes. "Wow, you tried _really_ hard, didn't you?"

"You know, I have to admit, I'm a little surprised here. I didn't think you'd take it so personally."

"What?" she asked defensively.

"My absence. I left because of Logan's warning. Not because I wanted to leave you."

Max swallowed. She didn't want him to know completely the extent to which she cared about him.

Alec surprised her again by finally showing some affection. He held out a gentle hand to stroke the side of her face. "I would never choose to leave you," he admitted.

Max looked into his eyes and was relieved to see that she was staring into hazel pools just as vulnerable as her own. "Alec…" she began as she turned toward his touch.

"So, about Canada," he commented, quickly changing the subject. "That was eye-opening!"

Max didn't understand what his problem was. Why was he pulling away? That was her job. She didn't think that any confusion remained between the two of them after his greeting the night before. But the further their conversation went, the greater her confusion became.

"What do you mean 'eye-opening'?" Max asked him, the emotion gone from her tone.

"Sam," he commented. "She looks just like you."

Max rolled her eyes. She didn't have to say 'duh'.

"I mean, I know what you went through, I guess. About Ben." His voice was quiet and revealing.

Max swallowed. For a brief moment she had again confused him for her dead brother the night before. Maybe her inability to identify him immediately had hurt him. She found herself feeling guilty for the mix-up.

"Well, of course I don't know what you went through," he corrected himself. "I just mean that it really is weird. Seeing someone with your face, your attitude, your body." Alec stopped with a slight clearing of his throat. It seemed he hadn't meant to let the last part slip out. "But," he continued, "she's not you. It made me miss you more. To have you constantly around, but not really…I'm sorry, Max. About Ben. I know I've said it before, but…I feel like I should say it again."

"Listen," Max began, "If this is about last night-"

"What?" Alec asked, giving her a look of complete confusion. "No. Look, this is just something I was thinking of, because of Canada. Seeing Sam." He didn't understand her. Here he was, trying to reach out, and she was trying to brush it all off. It also didn't make much sense to him that she barely reacted to the sight of him. Not that he was expecting a teary eyed 'thank goodness you're back', but even a 'hey! It's good to see you after two weeks!' would have been at least somewhat encouraging. The way she was responding, it was like she didn't really care one way or the other that he was back.

Max nodded and held her lips tightly shut. _Fine._ Obviously he didn't want to talk about it. She didn't really want to, either, but she would have been willing if it would help ease the tension.

She frowned as she considered Alec's short comments. He had shut her out before. With Rachel. Max recalled the time she had tried to reach out and help him, only to be rejected like her concern was insulting.

Since he clearly wasn't being open about it, she decided to be just as closed off in personal matters and just stick to the mission. "So," she began, "Canada… Two weeks… And it all was just one big flop? Why would Logan give us a bogus warning?"

Alec noted her change of the subject. So she really didn't want to discuss his concerns or her own personal problems. _Fine._ It was typical of Max, anyway, to try and ignore all her problems. He just had hoped they were past that by now, but clearly they weren't. He brushed off his slight feelings of rejection and continued along the same conversation. "I don't know, Max" he admitted with a shrug and a distant worry present in his eyes. "Did you find out anything more about those computer files?"

"Alec, we're stuck. Remember? I can't do anything more than we've already done."

"Do you know any computer hackers?" Alec asked her.

Max snorted. "Yeah, in fact, you can look them up in the yellow pages!"

Alec nodded. "I realize they aren't easy to track down, Max. Point noted," he replied with cold sarcasm. "Seriously, though. You worked with Logan on a lot of missions before the raid, right? I mean, didn't he have a contact that he let you meet at some point?"

Max narrowed her eyes at him. Something in his tone sounded accusing. "Just what are you getting at, Alec? Cuz I've never known you to hold anything back. So if you've got something to say, why be shy now?"

Alec took a minute to recollect himself. He hadn't meant to ask her like that, almost blaming her. He just couldn't shake the initial vibe he'd gotten when he first greeted her. Like she hadn't been missing him as much as he'd missed her. In fact, she was far more casual than he expected.

_Get over yourself!_ he told himself as he tried to find an appropriate answer for her. As he considered what to say, something about her question struck him as odd. If she were really trying to avoid his realizations or how he felt, why would she demand his honesty? Usually, she did more than help him avoid the subject- she usually pushed it away herself.

Alec gave her a confused look. "What's goin' on, Max?'

"I think I asked you first," Max replied firmly.

Alec let out a quiet laugh. "Listen, I'm just trying to figure things out here. Like why you're so aggressive tonight. Did I do something to piss you off?"

It was now her turn to laugh. "You have to ask?"

Although her voice and demeaner seemed angry, her eyes looked different. They wanted something. They looked hurt.

Alec took a moment to consider his last action with Max. They'd shared an intimate moment. He still remembered the feeling and scent of falling asleep with Max in his arms. It was a memory that he kept going back to the whole time he was separate from her.

Was she mad that he left while she was still asleep?

"I didn't want to wake you," he offered. "I know how you don't sleep much…Or get a chance to relax and be at peace that often. I wanted you to have that moment as long as possible," he admitted to her.

Max stared at him, her eyes vulnerable, and pleading him to continue.

Alec swallowed. "I just want the best for you, Max. Even if all I can offer you is a good night's sleep." He looked at her with an open stare of his own, searching for what it was that she wanted.

Max suddenly reached out and gave him a hug, an action he definitely wasn't expecting.

Alec swallowed and took the moment to offer her his comfort as well as to receive some of his own. Her tiny frame molded perfectly into his arms, and he could feel her heart beat against his. And when she outstretched her arms to literally hold onto him and enclose the space between them, Alec realized that he, too, didn't want to let go.

Her head that was nuzzled just under his neck only moved to stare him in the eyes. He was moved by how open she was being. As her soft lips parted to speak, he had to hold the desire to kiss her so that he could hear her out.

"You're right," she admitted in a soft voice. "I don't get to feel peace that often." But Max knew something that could always put her mind at ease while making her heart soar.

"But…" she continued. "There is something that you could do for me."

Alec's heart ached at her words and her request. She made him feel more vulnerable than anyone else. The request was hardly fair. But maybe she didn't realize that he didn't have the ability to say no to her.

"And what's that?" he asked her in a soft, deep voice as he returned her open stare.

"This," she mumbled before resting her head again against the top of his chest.

"Max," he whispered to her. "I'm not going to leave you again."

In the moment, Max couldn't hear the distant beat of the music or see the changing colors of the flashing lights in the club. Even though it was only a whisper, she heard Alec's words with every part of her loud and clear.

"All right!" Sketchy interrupted their embrace with a cheer.

Max opened her eyes again and pulled her head away but didn't let go of Alec immediately. She grinned at her friend. "So finally you show up with the beer! You better not make _all_ your girls wait that long!"

"My buddy, Alec, here, requested a moment alone with his lady. And who am I to object to such powerful chemistry?"

Max laughed before looking up at Alec again. "Did you really ask him that?" she asked with an amused grin.

Alec shrugged. "What can I say, I wanted to give you a proper greeting."

Max nodded with a curious expression. "Oh, really? Cuz that definitely wasn't the best greeting I've ever gotten." She grinned as she finished her hint.

Alec couldn't help smiling back. "And what did you have in mind?" he asked.

"Oh…" Max went on, clearly playing dumb. "Something like…this." She finished by gently sliding her lips over his.

It was short (thanks in part to Sketchy's cheering in the background) but it was enough to leave both transgenics grinning and glowing.

"So I need to ask you a favor," Max said to Alec after she released his lips.

"I'm all yours," he returned.

"No more talk of you-know-what tonight. I'll work on a contact tomorrow." She then gave him a challenging grin. "Think you can handle that, Pretty Boy?"

Alec pretended to actually contemplate it for a moment before answering. "Um…. Yeah, what the hell. I guess I could do that for you. But you have to do something for me then."

"And what's that?" Max asked him with a smile.

"Could we do that greeting one more time?" he asked with a laugh.

Max returned his laugh. "Let's just see how the night goes," she answered with a huge grin set on her face.

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**a/n**: Thanks for reading! I have the next ch almost done as well, and here's a lil spoiler- its going to be a big, somewhat dark, Ben ch 


	10. Chapter 10

**a/n**: Sorry that its been awhile. All I can say is I needed to be in a dark enough mood to really get this out, and well, it found me finally, so here it is. I'm putting my own disclaimer to this chapter. The whole thing involves two characters- Ben and Logan. I realize some only read this for Max and Alec, so I wanted to put that warning in there for those only interested in the MA. What can I say! If you haven't gotten the 'vibe' yet (which would be my fault for bad writing!) this is definitely my darkest story, so unfortunately the fluffy moments will be few and far between.

all that having been said, I hope you enjoy this one! Sometimes the darker creepies just fascinate me. Call this a product of that.

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**Chapter 10**

Ben watched as the man leaned dangerously close to the edge of the Space Needle, carelessly looking for something…or someone.

"Looking for Max?" Ben greeted the man. He enjoyed watching the man almost slip and fall into oblivion out of surprise. He realized that it wasn't out of revenge that he would have enjoyed watching him die. It would have been justice, and as a soldier, Ben could only admire seeing laws carry themselves out. It was simple, really. Cause and effect. You stand by the edge of the highest place in the city, you shouldn't be surprised when you slip and plummet to the mercy of gravity, which no man holds control over.

"You shouldn't stand so close to the edge, Logan Cale," he mock-warned the man. Really, he was criticizing Logan's stupidity. "You might fall to your _death_. And that would be really horrible for the citizens of Seattle, wouldn't it, Logan? Or should I say 'Eyes Only'?"

The surprised look Logan was giving him was priceless. But Ben began to question his own comment and current persona. He was first and foremost on a mission. He had already made a mistake by referring to the man with his full name, something Alec would never do.

Ben recalled from the short file on Logan that he and Alec were on a first name basis, and more so for Max. To Max, there was a time when he was 'boyfriend'. Though obviously, Alec had found a way to change that.

Ben wondered if Logan knew that in his absence, Alec had grown much closer to his beloved Max.

Ben tried to piece together how he should be acting while trying to figure out what Logan was doing standing on top of the Space Needle.

"Where's Max?" Logan asked him, interrupting his thoughts.

Ben was good at reading people and Logan was no exception. The man had a fear apparent in his eyes, despite the demanding manner he was speaking to Ben in. But the fear wasn't directed at Ben. _Is he afraid of heights?_ Ben wondered. So the man did have some awareness concerning his limitations.

But the realization only lowered his opinion of the man. Not only was it a foolish decision to come out in the open and stand on the ledge of the tallest place in Seattle, but the guy was scared on top of it. Fear has a purpose normally. It's a primal emotion, and when used appropriately is advantageous and helps your safety. It forces further thought and focus. But a fear of heights was not rational. It was unjustified fear.

Once Ben got around the realization that Logan was afraid of heights, he brought his attention to the current situation. He replayed in his mind Logan's last question. _Where's Max…_ A smirk spread across Ben's face. So Logan was facing his fears to fulfill some irrational need to see Max. _That's cute¸ _Ben thought to himself. The realization went beyond the man's statement. Ben could tell just by the changed attitude of the man as he spoke Max's name. It seemed Alec and Logan had an unspoken competition between the two of them. But Logan obviously wasn't privy to the fact that he lost. _He should expect it_, Ben criticized the man in his mind. _Being dead and all._

Not to mention Logan's inferiority to any transgenic. Though Ben had never actually met his twin, he had spent the last few weeks studying Alec. He had learned everything about Alec until he himself could hardly distinguish between Alec's personality and thoughts and his own.

Language precedes thought. If that statement is really true after all, then becoming Alec was slowly starting to change Ben. In order to process information like Alec, he had to speak like Alec, completely forget his own vocabulary. Within his mind, Ben immediately shoved his own thoughts, judgments, and assumptions into a dark corner. He no longer referred to himself as Ben. That broken soldier would only reappear in meetings with the director. From now on, there was only Alec.

As he focused on his training, he tried to become Alec. He contemplated how Alec would handle this situation- how _he_ should handle the situation. Here was Logan- an inferior predator to his girl, an ally in the fight against Manticore, an innocent fool who tossed his own life's value away in careless decisions like coming out here in the first place.

Ben easily morphed into Alec as he replied to Logan. It was easy to be cold, cocky, and sarcastic with Logan. He was a sad excuse of a man, after all. Alec wondered if the idiot even knew the repercussions of his actions in revealing himself.

"You know, you're looking pretty damn good for a dead guy, Logan," Alec commented to him. "Of course, you're still not as good-looking as me." Alec ended the comment with a proud smirk.

"Answer the question, Alec," Logan demanded calmly, though his face was revealing his annoyance.

Alec was amused by Logan's reactions. _He thinks of us as equals_, Alec realized. _Interesting._ Since they were far from being comparable on the same level. Alec grinned with his amusement before continuing. Logan had the capability of self-reflection. That was one of the human traits passed onto the transgenics. But it seemed it was one that Logan wasn't taking advantage of very well. If he were, he might realize that even though his overall demeanor remained calm and in control, to Alec he may as well be putty. Alec could take advantage of the man's irrational decisions and apparent truths, and especially pride, to whatever end he wished.

For the time being, Alec reasoned that the impression he wanted to get through Logan's thick head was that his decisions were foolish. Once that was taken care of, he wanted to hear from the man himself what his plans were. Right now, Ben needed to gain Max's trust and find Lydecker. Since Logan was presumed to have died at the exact time of Lydecker's disappearance, and that proved to be false, Ben needed to know everything about Logan there was to know. For that to happen, Alec needed to insult Logan into defending his actions with his so-called reasoning.

"So I take it you finally gave up on being Seattle's savior, then? Gives you more time to obsess over Max, is that right?" Alec continued to respond to the predatory feeling he held concerning Max, in hopes of stirring a revealing response out of Logan.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Logan asked him. "You know that I've been a little too preoccupied to continue following the underground informant net." Logan eyed Alec questioningly. "And I'm not going to discuss Max with you until you tell me where she is."

Alec almost laughed at Logan's continuing demands. "You'll have to forgive me for questioning you here, Logan. Considering that last I checked you were _dead_!"

This time Logan's eyes held suspicion. "But I sent you that message…" he trailed as he continued to question Alec with his eyes.

_Shit. _So Logan had sent Alec some kind of message. That definitely wouldn't have been mentioned in Ben's briefing for the mission. _Considering that Renfro thinks you're dead!_ Alec decided to withhold any further revealing information until he found out more about his current situation. _Before I get made!_

"I _know_ about the message, Logan! Why do you think I'm so upset to see you here?"

Logan continued to stare in confusion.

"You're supposed to be dead. Do you realize that with you standing here out in the open, anyone could see you? _Anyone_. Think about it. How much do you value your life, Logan?"

Logan remained silent, processing Alec's words, while Alec continued in hopes that if he didn't give Logan a chance to supply his own answer, Alec would be able to spoon-feed him one. "Because the only thing keeping your body warm at night is the fact that everyone thinks you're dead."

The words seemed to have given Logan renewed trust in Alec, and his suspicions faded into annoyance at Alec's words. "This isn't exactly Times Square," Logan defended his intelligence and decision to come to the place.

Alec continued to mock Logan and his decisions. He knew that if he kept it up, soon Logan would reveal his reasoning for coming, perhaps even tip Ben to Lydecker's location. "Oh, that's right. It's the 'high place'. Just what the hell were you getting at there, 'eyesonly4u'? And by the way, that screen name is pure…genius. I mean, it's not like Manticore would be searching for 'EyesOnly' contacting Max! What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was _thinking_ about Max, you asshole! Something that you obviously haven't been doing lately. She's in danger! Or didn't you notice that in between your sudden vacation?"

There it was. That smug look again. Ben wanted to rip it right off his face that suddenly seemed far too close for comfort.

But Alec didn't. Or wouldn't, at least. Alec didn't understand what he meant by that comment, though. Logan knew something that he didn't. And this time, he wasn't going to give Logan the opportunity to question him again. "What do you mean by that, Logan? Cuz I think if you'd ask Max, she'd say that I've been doing a lot more than _thinking_ about her."

Logan narrowed his eyes at Alec. "I can guess what you meant by that last comment, but I'm not going to, because right now, I'm just concerned about Max. Where is she?"

"What are you gonna do, Logan? Swoop in and save her? From…well, now that I think of it, you never did specify who you're trying to protect her from." Alec hoped the comment would impress upon Logan the need to tell him more about the situation.

"I knew you wouldn't understand the message," Logan complained at Alec's expense. Alec took it as an insult at his own deducting skills, but didn't react, since Logan continued. "Where the hell have you been for the past few weeks?"

"So now you're spying on me?" Alec asked him. "Did you ever think to call me? Or send me some cute IM?"

"I still have a few contacts," Logan admitted. "You haven't been seen in Seattle for about two weeks now, according to my sources. And since you're withholding information about Max, I have to wonder what exactly is going on."

Alec again held back the urge to laugh at Logan's shortcomings. The man's apparent jealousy of Alec was clouding his judgment. Or maybe it was just his blind attachment to Max that Alec was currently threatening with his own relationship to her.

He continued to dodge Logan's insecurities and stick to finding out what Logan knew. "That's what I'm trying to figure out, Logan! But you're making it difficult with all your accusations. Like I said, last I checked you were dead as far as anyone is concerned, which brings me to _my_ question. What are you doing here?"

"I gave you that warning so you'd stay closer to Max," Logan complained.

Alec gave him a cocky grin. "Well, you've got nothing to worry about there, Logan."

Logan opened his mouth, momentarily shocked, while searching Alec's eyes for the hidden meaning to that comment. Alec stood staring at him, his eyes daring Logan to say something. _Or do something_, Alec thought with a smirk. If Logan somehow managed to put one over on Alec and ended up punching the transgenic in the mouth hard enough to draw blood or at least spit, there was a chance that the DNA still lingering from his kiss with Max (which was just as strong as the potent scent of hers that still touched his senses as he concerned the possibility) would kill the man.

But Logan's death would serve no purpose in this moment. Alec shook the challenging look out of his eyes as he knew it conflicted with finding out the information that Ben needed.

After another brief moment, Logan seemed to again fool himself into believing that he and Max still somehow had a solid relationship and that Alec was nothing but a trouble-making smart-ass as he rolled his eyes but ignored the comment otherwise. "I got word that you had disappeared…"

Alec nodded. Finally, Logan was filling him in on a few things. He mocked being touched by Logan's meddling. "That's cute of you to worry, Logan."

"I got word that you had disappeared," Logan repeated, ignoring Alec's comment. "Right before I got word that it was happening soon- now. Any day now is what my informant told me."

Now Alec was truly curious. "What is happening now?"

"Max is in danger," Logan said simply.

Alec found himself annoyed at Logan's continued withholding of information. "Been established," he remarked, indicating for Logan to say something more.

"Why do you think I told her to meet me at the 'high place'? Why do you think I mentioned the 'blue lady'?" Logan asked him with a face that read 'duh'.

Images of a beautiful woman dressed in blue danced across Ben's mind. He quickly suppressed them. Alec didn't need Ben's distant memories to distract himself. He continued to try and get more out of Logan. "How should I know? The truth is I don't bother wasting time in trying to figure out your bizarre logic, Logan."

"Ben," he answered simply.

Panic shot through Ben for a split-second as the fear that somehow he had failed made his heart stricken. He still was facing Logan as Alec, with a smart-ass grin and nonchalant attitude of not caring as he processed it. He repeated the name in his mind, exactly how Logan had said it. And suddenly, a calmness came over him, along with confusion. Logan hadn't spoken the name in a manner of address. He had only been answering his own question. Logan had brought up the 'blue lady' because of Ben.

"What did you say?" Alec asked him, hoping his brief moment of self-doubt had only come across as confusion in what Logan was telling him.

"Ben," Logan repeated.

"What does Max's dead brother have to do with any of this? He's _dead_, remember?"

"Well, look at me. 'Dead' doesn't exactly mean what it used to these days, now does it."

It wasn't a question. Logan had used it as a statement. _He knows that Ben is alive?_ "Do you wish he were dead?" Alec blurted, a darkness sliding over the twinkle in his eyes for a split-second.

Logan looked appalled by the question."I don't believe in wishing," he dodged the question.

"You sound like Lydecker," Alec commented. He was pleased with such a good opportunity to bring the man into the conversation. "Is he the reason you're here?"

"I'm here because of Max. Ben is headed here, Alec. You should have let Max read that message about the blue lady. It was meant as a warning."

Alec didn't appreciate being criticized by Mr. Self-Righteous. Not to mention it didn't add up that Logan knew about something from Ben's distant memories that even Ben himself couldn't recall in his current state. "What do you know about the high place and the blue lady?"

"I've gotten several Manticore reports over the years, as you probably noticed on my computer." The comment had a jealous hint to it. So Logan didn't enjoy the fact that Alec had access to his computer and his former girlfriend.

Ben took a wild guess that Logan had never been up front with Alec unless it was absolutely necessary, which in Logan's mind meant the few fleeting moments where he accepted the fact that he alone couldn't save Max.

"Manticore reports…" Alec commented, "Yeah, I noticed a few. Actually_, several_. That you failed to ever mention. To me _or _Max." Alec could guess at his secrets. When you have secrets of your own, it's not hard to see when others share them as well.

"I knew that she would think of Ben when she heard those words. Consider it a warning, for yourself as well. Your twin brother is alive and coming for Max."

Ben almost laughed out loud in spite of the cover he was trying to keep. "You make him sound like some psycho killer."

"He is," Logan stated matter-of-factly.

_You should talk!_ Logan's words disturbed Ben not only because of what he was agreeing to, but also because of the manner in which he said it. _So Logan really believes that Ben is a psycho killer, without question. Ben's a psycho killer. The grass is green. It's all the same to him._

"Didn't Max tell you?" Logan asked as his suspicions seemed to come back. "You were arrested for his murders, remember? I gave you an alibi…" He trailed as he searched Alec's eyes for recognition.

Alec nodded. "Of course I remember. And thanks, Logan. I appreciated that. It's just that, from what Max has told me about Ben...I can't see him murdering her."

Logan frowned at Alec. "Don't be naïve, Alec. I know that Max likes to believe the best in everyone, but even she knew that there was no way to reason with him. You read the reports."

Alec swallowed. Logan's words were condescending and disturbing. _Max knew there was no way to reason with Ben?_ _What reports?_ Ben hadn't realized that his own lacking memory could end up being the fatal error in his mission.

"You act like you knew him," Alec said to Logan accusingly. "I'll keep your words in mind, Logan. But Max's word means more to me."

"You really don't think that Ben would kill Max? Not even if he was ordered to? Come on, Alec! Ben never let go of Manticore. He was insane. I wouldn't place my trust in that. Max didn't either. He's coming for her. I need to see her, tell her what's going on."

Ben tried to maintain the façade of Alec, which was growing more difficult as the conversation went on. In spite of his mission, he felt like if he didn't walk away to have a moment to recollect himself, he was going to give himself away. '_I wouldn't place my trust in that. Max didn't either',_ Logan's words rang in his head until he forced them out. He had to hold it together long enough to escape without leaving any room for further suspicion or doubt.

"I'll tell Max, Logan. You can't risk being seen by the wrong person," Alec finally offered.

"Do you think I've been spotted?" Logan asked.

"Not yet," Alec reassured him. "But the longer you're out of hiding, the greater the risk."

Logan stood still, quietly contemplating his options. Clearly, he'd really wanted to see Max tonight.

"So, when am I gonna hear from you again?" Alec asked.

The comment seemed to break Logan's thoughts, as he looked up and took a glance around himself, taking in the breathtaking view as he stood on top of the city, before facing Alec again. "I don't know," he answered honestly.

He then faced Alec with eyes that held a sense of urgency in them. "Tell Max that I'm not gonna give up, Alec. Tell her… that I'm here for her if she'll only wait for me."

Alec nodded in surprise but no longer was mocking the man. He'd already gotten the information he needed, and he wanted to end on a good note with the man. "I will, Logan," Alec answered sincerely.

Ben knew that Alec really would pass along that information, even though Logan's clinging false hope didn't matter anymore.

But Logan was talking to Ben. And Ben certainly had no desire in playing messenger or prolonging Logan's denial about Max and who she belonged with.

Ben decided that the only real control he had for the time being was over information. He had no hesitation in using that control, either. If Max really wanted or needed to hear that Logan was still desperately holding out for a future together with her, he would tell her. But the truth was, she didn't need to hear it. She'd already moved on.

* * *

**a/n**: thanks so much to everyone for reading. as always, reviews are appreciated 


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Max smiled into Alec's twinkling hazel eyes before moving her hips to the beat while they enjoyed each other's company on the dance floor.

"So that boyfriend thing really stuck, didn't it?" he joked casually to her while they moved rhythmically to the music. Of course he remembered how things had been when he left, but he really wasn't expecting to come back to such an open and carefree Max. She was acting like they'd just seen each other yesterday.

Max shrugged playfully toward him as her feet moved. "Don't know why everyone fell for it!" she said with a grin. It was true that no one doubted even for a second that the two were suddenly a pair. "If they only knew!" she teased him, playfully pretending to be oblivious to the fact that there were sparks every time the two transgenics were together.

"Yeah," he went along with her mock-denial of their obvious attraction and chemistry. "I mean, you're not even my type." It sounded so unnatural to come out of his mouth, even though he was clearly not being serious. _Slender, curvaceous, long flowing brown hair, that fiery spirit... so not my type! _he joked again in his mind. Though it was true that in the past he went for women that were less of a challenge.

But after Max, he was completely uninterested in anyone, or anything really, except her. His life had willingly become completely wrapped around hers, and that truth brought him nothing but happiness.

Max opened her mouth to protest his rejection of her being his 'type' with a twinkling smile still shining in her brown eyes as her gaze settled on him. "I know!" she continued. "Completely different backgrounds. Not to mention, I usually go for guys that are cuter."

Alec laughed at that comment. If Max's attraction and draw toward him was only skin-deep, she definitely would have admitted her feelings to him sooner. To be honest, Max usually went for the tragic hero type. Clearly, she was just trying to tease him some more. He decided to give her some of her own medicine. "And I usually go for the slim, buxom blondes," he commented casually, appreciating the quiet fire that flashed in her eyes at the comment.

Max rolled her eyes before pulling him closer to dance against him. "Yep," she finished, "don't know why everyone thinks we go so well together."

The truth was, they fit together so well that sometimes it scared both of them. Neither had met a person before that was so right for them. Funny, how they'd been 'paired off' by Manticore. But it seemed that for once, the dark place where they'd grown up had actually proven right.

Alec and Max were similar enough to understand each other better than anyone ever could, but they were different enough to bring excitement and surprise to their lives. Alec reminded Max of a part of her that she had once fought accepting. He'd shown her that she didn't have to be 'normal', and in fact, her unique spirit was what made her so special to him. And Max had shown Alec that there was more to him than just a cocky smart-ass soldier, and that was not only okay, but it was part of what made him beautiful in her eyes.

As both considered just how right they really were for each other, they lost themselves in each other and the music. Their bodies intermingled as they stepped to the beat.

Max knew that after tonight, it was back to the grind, searching for Logan and trying to deal with Manticore.

But just for tonight, the only thing that really existed to her was she and Alec and the magic they could elicit together on the dance floor.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Ben didn't know what to think as he approached the penthouse. The questions flooding his mind were dizzying. It was difficult for him to think straight when he didn't have a sound reality to come back to. After all, his was all a big lie, designed for some purpose. And even _that_ he wasn't sure of. Renfro couldn't possibly just want to keep an eye out on Max. The woman was dark and never satisfied. There was no way that she only wanted to watch Max and end Lydecker's life.

He cautiously peered into the windows while hidden in the darkness. The place was dark and appeared empty. Which only meant that Max wasn't there.

Ben breathed a heavy sigh. He was quickly losing the motivation to continue with his mission. The information he'd received from Logan had been disturbing at best.

The only thing he was entirely sure of was that he needed to see Max. Beautiful, innocent Maxie.

Immediately, a memory flashed across his mind. He was a child, holding onto a shaking Max as she had another one of her seizures. "It's okay, Max," he whispered into her ear, his voice holding so much innocence. He held out a tiny photograph of a beautiful woman wearing blue. The Blue Lady in the photo was glowing, a bright light irradiating from her. "The Blue Lady will protect us," he told his sister while she was in her most fragile state.

It seemed the warmth from the lady in the photograph spread onto Max. She gave him a tiny grin before shutting her eyes. And not an instant later, she stopped her seizing.

The vibrating of Ben's untraceable government issued cell phone brought him back to reality. He took a moment to calm down and force his voice to sound emotionless before he answered the call.

"_493," _was her simple greeting, if you could call it that.

"Madame Director," he replied appropriately. He had to focus not to let on his frustration or anger with the woman. Controlling his urges was proving to be the hardest part of his mission, including the increasing one to end the woman's miserable life. _Maybe I was a psycho_, the thought crept into his mind as he briefly pictured the woman's demise and the satisfaction that a death shouldn't bring him but would.

"_You haven't reported back!" _she complained.

He realized with the momentary pause that she was expecting some sort of reply. "I've been a bit preoccupied with carrying out the mission," he excused his failure to contact her.

"_Well what a fortunate coincidence this is for us, isn't it 493? Your first moment of free time happens to be just when I decided to call you."_

Ben frowned, thankful that she couldn't see his expression at the moment. _The bitch is doubting me_, he realized. But another realization came to him. Even though he was a soldier desired to do a good job, he didn't care. Failure to meet this woman's vague expectations didn't phase him in the slightest.

"_So let's take advantage of it," _she continued. _"Tell me what's going on. I want a complete report right now."_

Ben rolled his eyes. He didn't want to tell her anything. "There's not much to report," he told her, well aware that the comment would infuriate the control freak.

"_Do I have to repeat myself?" _she asked him, showing again the weakness of her impatience.

"I have a lead on Lydecker," he told her, if only to satisfy her incessant need to know everything. She was power-hungry, and he knew it would give her immeasurable satisfaction to know that she was closing in on her self-proclaimed enemy.

It was amusing to Ben, her hatred of the man. It seemed she wanted him dead just because he was an annoyance. Surely, there were more important goals or avenues to focus on, but the woman was fast becoming obsessed with ending the man's life.

"_What did you find out?" _she immediately asked, her tone sounding borderline desperate.

"Nothing," he bit out at her. "I have a _lead_. That I'm working on."

He could almost hear the scowl that must have been spread across her ugly face right then. _"Well when will you know more?"_ she demanded.

"If I were designed to predict the future, I could certainly tell you that," he replied with cold sarcasm. "But I _can _tell you that I will report back as soon as I find out anything concrete."

"_Is Max your lead?" _she demanded.

Max was certainly not a subject he wanted to get into with her. "No," he told her truthfully.

"_I expect a much more complete report the next time I speak with you, which better be soon!"_ she spat into the phone.

Ben was thankful that the call was coming to end. Next, she'd probably light into him about contacting her sooner. But what her next statement actually was ended up being a complete surprise to him.

"_Oh, and before I let you go, I wanted to inform you of a change of plans. I have a modification to your mission."_

He swallowed his anxiety. Just when he thought his situation was as bad as it could get, and she was throwing a _change of plans _at him. Any modification from Renfro couldn't possibly be good.

"Yes," he answered obediently.

"_You have a target to assassinate," _she told him.

Ben remained silent. Apparently, the rushed feeling of ending someone's life wasn't new to him. He'd murdered before.

A thought crossed his mind, bittersweet with its hope. Maybe his murders had only been the work of Manticore, fulfilling the plans of a mission.

"_You are to eliminate 452," _she told him.

Ben swallowed, processing what she was asking him to do. "Madame, I thought the objective was to eliminate Lydecker and discover what 452 knows. How am I to complete _that _objective if she's dead?"

"_We have ways of retrieving the memories of the deceased,"_ she told him matter-of-factly, as though picking apart the brain of the dead was just as normal as brushing your teeth in the morning. _"Besides, she's not telling you anything about Lydecker, so she's useless to us."_

"So I am to bring her body back?" he managed to say into the phone.

"_That's correct, 493. _Completely _intact!_" she emphasized the command.

"But dead," he repeated, the words sending a horrid rush down his spine. He could barely bring himself to _speak _of Max being dead. How the hell was he supposed to actually kill her?

"_Is that going to be a problem?" _she asked him. It sounded like part of her wanted him to fail. He wondered if she had completely lost her mind, if this was all just a game to her, like playing with little green plastic toy soldiers. Only he wasn't a toy. He was a person… wasn't he? Even though he was born in a lab, he felt human enough, with his desires, attachments, and weaknesses. He wasn't all soldier, as much as it was pounded into his head during training.

"Not at all," he answered, his voice void of any emotion.

"_Good," _she replied. _"Report to me when it's done. Retrieval of 452's lifeless body is now a priority of this mission. We'll deal with Lydecker once the task is completed."_

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ben walked into the place cautiously. It was difficult to walk with the confidence and ease of 'Alec' when in truth, he was more troubled than he could ever remember being.

Of course, there was a good chance that he had, in fact, been more disturbed at one time than he was now, or perhaps 'disturbing' was a more appropriate word. He was a murderer. Even Max, who'd once placed all her fears onto him, could not bring herself to trust him.

At one time, he'd been the comforting hand that she turned to.

But it seemed that now, he was nothing more than a haunting burden to her that elicited fear instead of comfort.

He hadn't been blind to the terrified expression on her confused face when she'd thought she was staring at her dead murderous brother, Ben instead of her cocky, carefree lover-

"Alec!" someone called to him, as though right on cue, interrupting his thoughts.

Ben's eyes rolled in annoyance before putting on a grin as he turned. He looked the somewhat goofy-looking, scrawny man up and down once before meeting his tipsy stare. In the guy's altered state, he didn't even notice the unrecognizing stare that Ben was giving him.

"Good to see you came back for a few more!" The guy patted Ben on the back in a friendly gesture. "I know Max probably missed you the most, but I gotta admit, man, it just hasn't been the same!"

Ben forced an appreciative grin at the guy. He seemed decent and friendly enough, but Ben wondered if that was only thanks to the alcohol coursing through his system. "Thanks, man," Ben replied. "Speaking of Max, have you… seen her lately?"

"Dude! You were just dancing with her no less than twenty minutes ago! Man, my fuzzy memorish ways must be rubbing off on you. How many have you had tonight?"

Ben's hazel eyes flashed with surprise. _Alec is back in town? _He was only just starting to get a grasp on all the implications that came with Max seeing him again, her previously deceased, and apparently psychotic, brother Ben. He could only guess at her reaction thanks to Logan's words, but something in her frightened stare during that brief moment when she actually recognized him told Ben that it wouldn't be welcomed news. And if what the drunken guy in front of him was saying was true, there was a good chance that Max already knew the truth.

Ben stared at the goofy guy once with eyes of worry before recovering with a carefree stare and smirk. He was about to tell the guy that he'd just forgotten, but before he could, the man went on. "Oh, man, it doesn't matter! We're all still having a good time." He cupped a hand over his mouth as he called over to a friend. "O.C.! Get over here, Golden Boy is back for round 2! And bring a pitcher!"

Ben smirked at being called 'Golden Boy'. The guy's reaction along with his new nickname really made him wonder. It was like they worshipped the guy! Renfro had described him as nothing more than a cocky, self-serving rogue soldier.

"Pretty Boy here without his girl?" a dark-skinned woman asked as she came over, a pitcher in hand just as requested.

Ben felt her attitude like it was radiating from her in waves. She was clearly a force to be reckoned with. It reminded him of Max's feistiness.

Already, several women had sent him longing and appreciative glances throughout the room (that he'd chosen to ignore, which was easy since he didn't care about matters so trivial), but this one… She appeared completely disinterested. Despite calling him 'Pretty Boy', she didn't seem to hold any attraction toward him whatsoever.

"She doesn't have me on a leash," he replied curtly. He was fast growing tired of everyone making such a big deal about 'Max and Alec'. He could guess that their lives were less than thrilling, but couldn't they find something _else _to preoccupy their vacant minds with than the 'Golden Couple'? He wondered if that was really how they referred to the pair.

His question was answered with the guy's next drunken ramblings. "We have here the pants of the Beautiful Couple."

_Ugh, 'beautiful couple'? _It was even cheesier than 'Golden Couple' would be.

"Shut up, foo! You make my homegirl sound more like a home_maker_!" She then turned her attention back on Ben. "And boy, you must be trippin' if you think she don't have yo ass by a leash. I don't care if homegirl hasn't bought you doggie tags yet- yo ass is owned." She rolled her eyes before mumbling more. "Goin' to Canada for a damn week just to chase after some lead. You been a slave to that penthouse for a good month now."

Ben didn't think before grabbing her arm to seek more. She'd perked his interests. It seemed that she was a good friend of Max's. One who apparently knew something about Alec and his absence that Ben didn't.

She eyed his hand before giving him a defensive look that clearly read 'back off'. Ben quickly released his grip. "Sorry," he apologized. "It's just… what did you mean by that?"

The girl laughed. "Come on, Alec! Don't get me wrong, I'd die fa the girl, too. You just surprised me, I guess. That comment. Talkin' about not bein' completely into her. What's yo ass doin' here without her, anyway?"

Ben swallowed. He couldn't exactly tell her he was only there to find Max. Because according to her, he'd just been in there earlier _with _Max. As he tried to come up with an answer, the woman let him off the hook.

"Ah, fa' get it," she said as she sipped her drink. "I ain't neva seen Max so happy before. All glowin' and shit." Her expression made it seem she was actually grateful to him.

She stood up to leave the table. "When you get home, tell my girl I said 'hey', and I don't care what activities ya'll do tonight. She _betta_ be at work tomorrow! Since her Pretty Boy stole her company from her sista tonight."

With that, she withdrew from the table, leaving Ben completely speechless. What was with everyone? Ben knew the power that rested in charm, but this was beyond that. These people, including Max, seemed to have fallen under the spell of Alec.

Ben had a curiosity burning within him to stare upon his twin, face-to-face. He wanted to see for himself what exactly Alec really was all about. He had conflicting views of the guy. Between Renfro's hatred, Max's companionship, and these admirers, he didn't know what to think.

Whatever the truth really was, it seemed most assuredly certain that no matter whether he was a good person or soldier or not, people definitely liked and were drawn to Alec. Ben just didn't understand it. Being twined, it would make sense that they ought to share similar characteristics. Renfro, too, had brought up the similarities in their DNA.

If that was true, either Alec was just waiting idly to one day also become a disturbing psycho, or somehow he was stronger than Ben. Alec had found a way to move beyond the madness tugging at his mind.

Family was important to Ben. At least, he felt a true connection to the word. He couldn't quite remember what it really meant to him. But he was fairly certain that his siblings were everything to him.

_A blonde-haired young soldier motioned for Ben to follow the instructions._

"_I don't want to separate," Ben protested._

_But his brother wouldn't listen. "This is the only way, Ben!" he argued with his younger brother. "Just do it! That's an order, soldier!"_

_Ben closed his mouth obediently. There was really no point in arguing with his brother. Zack was far too headstrong and logical to listen to his weak desires to stay together. Besides, he was right. Ben was a soldier. He would be fine. He was perfectly capable of surviving._

_And he wasn't really alone. Ben's hand reached into his pocket to hold onto her picture, the beautiful woman, the Blue Lady. She was with him and she would watch over him in the new world he was about to face._

"Alec, are you really gonna take off?"

The words brought Ben out of his hazy memories. "Am I a decent guy?" Ben blurted to the man. He couldn't shake his increasing curiosity to finally meet 494. He didn't feel any kinship for someone he'd never met before, but he still wanted to see what he was really like.

_What do I care if he's decent? _Ben suddenly questioned himself.

The image of the beautiful woman dressed in blue danced through Ben's mind, giving him his answer.

_The Blue Lady would want him to be good_, he decided amidst all of his confusion.

The man shrugged, as though considering the question. "You know that I think you are. Dude, what's with all the self-reflection? You're in a bar! We aren't supposed to think here!"

Ben laughed. "Yeah, you're right. Just one more question, then I'm out of here."

"All right," the guy accepted. "Shoot."

"Ever heard of the Blue Lady?"

The puzzled look Ben was getting in response told him his answer. "There used to be this weird music group. The Blue Man, or something. But I've never heard of a Blue Lady. Is that some kind of new entertainer?"

Ben sighed at his words. It seemed that he had no choice but to talk with Max to discover his own past.

But Max was the last person he wanted to see right then. For several reasons. Not the least of all being that she was now his target.


	12. Chapter 12

**a/n**: sorry it's been so long. my muse completely abandoned me, but it paid me a visit today, and this was the result

**summary**: Ben as Alec visited Logan atop the Space Needle while the real Alec was at Crash with Max. The transgenic pair decided to enjoy the rest of the evening and get back to the search for Logan and unlocking his computer files the following day. Then Ben got a phone call from Renfro informing him of a change of plans. 452 is his target, and that now takes priority over getting information about Lydecker's whereabouts. Ben goes to Crash, discovers that Alec is back in town. And that brings us here...

* * *

**Chapter 12**

Ben had to use his transgenic vision to get a good view of the shadowed figure visible through the Penthouse window.

He noted the familiar curtain of silken dark hair immediately. "Max," he breathed the name out loud with quiet conviction. Like it was…

_A prayer._

Ben reached into his pocket to touch the crinkled photo out of habit. But this time, it wasn't there. Somewhere along the way, he'd lost her, his beautiful blue lady.

A memory flashed into his mind. Four days in isolation after they'd found it. Four days with his tortured mind as his only company.

It had been quite a struggle for him, to face such a challenge without her.

But he'd considered it a test. Once the four days were up, he wasn't looked upon as weak any longer. They finally accepted him for what he really was – a soldier, a hunter.

_A killer_. His focus returned to the building. He wasn't just wandering around for the view. He had a mission to complete.

_452. My target_.

He crept closer, trying to figure out some sort of plan to follow in hopes of fulfilling his objectives. But his efforts came to an abrupt halt with a wave of surprise. She wasn't alone; there was another figure in the room.

Ben almost gasped out loud into the night. It was like he was staring into a mirror. _494... Alec_. He knew immediately as his eyes rested upon his twin brother for the first time.

The same pair of eyes was shining with the light reflected into his hazel pools. But there was a lighter twinkle in this set of eyes.

Ben's stare then fell onto the smirk spread across his brother's face, the same one that he'd been practicing into perfection and habit to the point where his lips twitched into the cocky grin without thought.

Ben felt his thoughts and breath escape him momentarily as he watched a pair of lips press against his brother's in a passionate kiss. Ben couldn't peel his eyes away from the sight, staring unblinkingly, as though if he stared long enough, he would find the trickery in the sight and prove to himself that it wasn't really happening.

But the longer he stared, the more real it seemed to his eyes and his heart. He absently touched his own lips as he watched an identical pair angle to taste hers as they molded together. Beautiful, soft lips that he knew all too well the satisfaction of tasting. His mouth went dry, and he couldn't tear himself away from the passion igniting in front of his eyes.

The memory of her taste and intoxicating scent surrounding him and lingering in his mind and desires no longer served to satisfy him. He found himself disgusted with the animalistic pleasure and need that she'd unknowingly instilled within him.

It made him weaker. She had a power over him, the ability to make him lose his thoughts and control.

The realization brought a churning to his insides and he found himself wanting to retch in a psychological effort to get it out of him, the helplessness she could instill.

_Get it together, soldier!_

Another flash of the beautiful woman in blue brought hope to Ben. In feeling her peaceful presence, even if only for a flash, he found the strength to turn away from the quiet rage building within him and the need to claim Max as his own. He leapt away from the building, abandoning his mission for the moment, and left the pair to keep their desires to themselves.

But it seemed he wasn't allowed to find any real peace. Poisonous thoughts kept lighting his mind. Against his will, he was assaulted with the images. Lips crashing into another; her tongue slipping under another as their bodies collided. He was tortured with the knowledge of everything they were doing right then. He knew Max well enough to know her every reaction; what actions would heighten her arousal; what to do to elicit her high and low moaning. And in his twisted assignment, he also knew what his twin would do to bring out her satisfaction and give her pleasure.

_Damnit!_ Ben punched his fist through a wall before blurring along in an effort to escape from his maddening thoughts. He had to get away from it all. He ran absently to get out of sight from everything except the night.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Max prepared herself as she approached the doorway. Playtime was most definitely over. Part of her actually felt guilty for putting it off even for a day. But then another part of her reminded herself that Logan had led Alec on a wild goose chase anyway, wasting a precious few weeks for nothing.

"So… this is gonna work?" Alec questioned the meeting again.

Max couldn't help rolling her eyes. _He never used to ask so many questions. _It seemed that wasting his time on a pointless Eyes Only tip had made him less willing to just go with the flow.

"He's really good at this type of thing. Plus, we can trust him," she tried to reassure him once the pair stood right outside the man's door.

"Are you sure?" Alec asked skeptically. For the moment, he didn't even trust Logan, let alone an informant of his. "It's just that he gave us a false warning before, Max. Plus, if he had been more honest with you, we wouldn't need to do this anyway."

Max frowned at him. Backing out wasn't exactly an option for them anymore. At this point in time, it was either go through with the meeting, or nothing. "Aren't you the one that said we need to get serious about this?"

Before Alec could argue or defend himself, the door burst open, bringing their brief argument to an abrupt end.

"Sebastian!" Max greeted more cheerily than she really felt.

The man made a slight nod from his seat, apparently, an indication for the pair to come inside, as Max wandered in after the motion.

"You said this was about Logan," his synthetically created voice greeted her.

Max nodded toward him. "I remember you were never one for small talk," she joked before holding out the hard drive.

"Old Gateway," he noted. "Not worth much these days, but you could get a good meal off of it."

"This is from Logan's computer," Max explained. "And we need to know everything that is on it."

At the word 'we', Alec took the opportunity to follow suit and step inside.

Sebastian eyed the transgenic once over as Alec drew nearer. "Another X-5," he commented knowingly.

Alec turned to Max with widened eyes. He wondered if he ought to care that an informant of Logan's knew their big secret. But the look on Max's face showed him that there was no harm in the man's knowledge.

Max took the moment to also eye Alec once over. Her lips curved upward in a light grin before she turned her attention back to Sebastian. "Yeah, that's right," she admitted to him.

A metallic arm reached out to accept the hard drive from Max. "I will look into this for you."

"Thanks," Max replied warmly.

"Give Logan my regards."

Max nodded, a worry evident in her eyes. "Right." No one knew that the man was missing. Considering that he only kept in touch with Max on a regular basis, the fact that his family had practically shunned him, and that he had no job on paper made it entirely too easy for his absence to go all but unnoticed. The only other person who really knew and was troubled by his disappearance was Asha.

The sudden thought of the blonde made Max wonder how the woman was doing these days. She hadn't seen her recently enough to trust that she was doing all right.

"Let us know when you find anything," Alec told Sebastian, bringing Max's thoughts back to the present.

"Of course," came the synthetic reply.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Ben didn't realize he'd been walking all night long until the glowing beams of the rising sunlight danced into his eyes, bringing his thoughts back to reality.

As he finally looked at the world around him instead of the confusing one in his mind, he noticed a building with colored windows, shining and looking beautiful as the light cascaded and danced from color to color. They were pictures, he realized. _Stained glass windows. Of a church._

Whether the knowledge was from a memory, or from training and studying, he didn't know. But regardless of where the recognition came from, he couldn't escape the peace that was almost blinding as it chased through him. Every worry left him as he walked closer to the holy building. His feet that had been dragging, even for a transgenic, felt light as he approached the place, and his heart that had been heavy with all his troubles leapt excitedly as he drew near.

But a part of him couldn't let go of all hesitation. He was a soldier, after all; he had an undeniable sense of self-preservation, and he was embarking into unknown territory. There was no logical reason for the sight of a lone building to elicit such jubilant emotion. His soldier's caution made him wonder if he was walking into some sort of trap that could endanger him.

He allowed the calm feeling coming from the building to draw him inside with guarded steps. As he walked past the pews, he noted the beautiful images surrounding him. The figures in the glass windows looked so happy; they were smiling and glowing radiantly, sending a warmth to his heart. Ben stopped in his tracks to take a moment to lean against the wall so he could deepen the feeling of peace settling over him.

A gasp brought his mind out of his harmonic trance. He turned quickly and cautiously to find himself staring at an elderly woman.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" her quiet voice came to his ears. "You startled me. I didn't know anyone else was here." She smiled warmly at him. "Come to praise the Lord?"

Ben swallowed, unsure of what to say. He didn't understand what she meant. What was he supposed to tell her? A calming light led him to come here? When he really ought to be plotting the death of a woman that he couldn't seem to emotionally detach himself from?

While he was lost in troubled thought, the woman's sparkling blue eyes fell from his confused face down to his fists that were stained in his own dried blood from when he'd taken his frustrations out on a random wall. "Oh, my!" she said with an alarmed gasp. "You've come to the right place. Come on and we'll clean you up."

Ben wasn't quite sure why he followed her. It must have been curiosity. He felt like there was a memory hidden here. Something within him was connected to this place, but the truth was still locked away in a darkened corner of his mind.

As she dabbed a dampened towel over his cuts, she tried to ease his pain, in more ways than one. "I'm a sister here," she told him in between strokes to clean his skin. "You know, if something's weighing on you, we have priests here to help. Father Cady's having a service at 7. It'll give you just enough time to rest up while you wait."

"Service?" Ben asked simply.

"Well, penance, of course. Have you ever been to confession?"

"Confession…" he trailed as his memories took his focus away from the present again.

"_In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen. And how long has it been since your last confession?"_

_The calm voice on the other side of the slotted window pressed Ben to answer truthfully. "I've never been to confession," he admitted to the man waiting patiently on the other side._

"I've never been to confession," Ben repeated absently to the woman cleaning his wounds.

"Sometimes it helps just to talk to someone," she continued to try and welcome him to her beliefs.

"_You're not a Catholic?" came the somewhat surprised reply from the other side of the window._

"_No," Ben continued. "But I do have faith in the Lady."_

"_Our blessed Lady," the father replied, understanding evident in voice._

"_Yes."_

"I have faith in the lady," Ben muttered as his memory went on.

"Our blessed Mother," the nun said with a smile. With that, she held out a hand toward him. "Come, I'll show you."

Ben flinched when she touched him, returning once more to reality. But his mind was so conflicted that he was having growing difficulty in deciding which reality he belonged to. The one where he was a trained soldier sent to kill his sister, or the one that he was struggling to remember.

As her gentle fingers latched onto his, the warmth that raced through him told Ben his temporary answer. At least for now, he would accept the elderly woman's generosity and kindness.

------------------------------------------------------------

She led him to the statue of a beautiful woman wearing blue, surrounded by candles, some lit and some not. There were a few scraps of paper with writing scribbled on them as well as some prayer cards, and even a flower laying at her ceramic feet.

"These are for her?" Ben asked, his fingers reaching toward the personal items.

The woman nodded.

As his fingers grazed a scrap of paper, a white light flashed within him and the image of a set of teeth stained with blood burned into his mind.

In an instant, the frightening memory- was it a memory?- was gone.

Her hand rested on his shoulder as she guided him away. "You should rest now. I'll take you somewhere to sleep until dinner."

Ben studied her once more. Why was she doing this? She didn't even know him.

But then he remembered what she'd told him. _She's a sister…_ He felt satisfied with the explanation. _It's her faith in the Lady_, he decided. The realization gave him the incentive he needed to listen to what she had to say and finally cave in to his human limitations, resting his mind with the peaceful drift of sleep.

"Thank you," Ben whispered as he followed her to find his safe haven.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Ben's body may have been at rest, but his consciousness was tossing and turning throughout the night.

Flashes of his old life flooded his mind as he slept, vulnerable enough to allow his subconscious to take over.

_The priest pressed him further. "Well, why don't you tell me your sins, then?"_

"_I've killed."_

_FLASH._

'_Snap!'_

_Just like that, the man's life drained out of him; finally his struggle ended and his empty shell slumped lifelessly onto the cold dirt._

He wasn't worthy, after all, _the twisted thought justified the soldier's actions._

**No!**

Ben's eyes shuttered at an uncontrollable speed as he remained trapped in REM sleep.

_He heard the vibrations of the machine just as he felt the vibrations of fear from the chosen challenger beneath his art._

"_Hold still," he demanded in a voice that was deceptively calm considering the fact that he was creating a permanent scar on the innocent man, etching a bar-code onto the back of his neck._

_4._

_9._

**No!**

This time, Ben's body shook violently as the images continued.

_His face pressed against the ground. She'd taken him by surprise._

_So she found him. It didn't upset him. Not even when she chained him to the concrete, trapping him there._

_She had taken herself into his mind and found the answer as to his whereabouts. She understood him._

_FLASH._

"_Shut up!"_

_Why was she screaming at him?_

_FLASH!_

_His finger reached up to graze his lip as he tasted the metal of his own blood. She'd punched him._

_The way she was looking at him… it was like she hated him._

_FLASH!_

_He knew she was right. He allowed her to fix it. She had to fix it now._

_But the walls were whispering to him, many voices calling to him at once._

_Duty._

_Discipline._

_His purpose. He was abandoning it._

A cold sweat poured over Ben as he watched the scene unfold. He knew the soldier's thoughts. He knew his reasoning, the justification for his destructive actions.

Ben knew that the soldier couldn't stop. She was distracting him, asking him to abandon his purpose.

He had to stop her.

_The dark set of hazel eyes lifted as the plan came to him._

Ben knew what he was going to do.

Because of who the soldier was.

It was…

"NO!"

This time, the protest was strong enough to have a voice as Ben yelled into the night.

He shook as his senses adjusted and he took over his mind again.

His thoughts calmed as his breathing evened out. _It was a dream_. It had only been a night terror as he slept.

But he couldn't deny how real it had felt.

The vibration as a broken soldier tattooed his own bar-code into his victim's skin… Ben could feel his own hand vibrating along with the soldier. Knew what number would come next in the sequence.

Was it all a lie?

The light snapped on in the small room.

Ben immediately followed the change to its source. She was back. The kind sister again.

As soon as her arm stretched around him, Ben's shaking ceased and he melted into her fragile arms.

"What have I done?" he asked before his eyes misted over, shining with salty doubt and fear that his dream was more solid than he'd like to think.

"Well, looks to me like you've gone and had a bad case of the nightmares," she said kindly as she held onto him.

"It's just as well," she continued. "I need you up! Dinner's ready. Let's fill up that tummy of yours!"

Ben blinked his emotions away and followed her obediently. Anything to escape the helpless feeling that had almost overwhelmed him.

* * *

**a/n**: thank you for reading 


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